A GIFT FOR MARIA

 

A young man called Paul

Wanted to buy a present

For his new sweetheart Maria

As a Christmas present

 

As they’d not been dating

For a very long duration

He decided to purchase

After careful consideration

A nice pair of gloves
striking the right note

Not too romantic or personal

So the gloves got his vote

 

Accompanied by Maria’s sister

He went to Harrods and bought

A dainty pair of white gloves

“She will like these” he thought

 

Maria’s sister Susan bought

A pair of panties for herself

But during the wrapping

An error was made on the shelf

 

The assistant mixed up

The gloves and the panties

The sister got the gloves

And Maria got the scanties

 

Without checking Paul sealed

The package along with a note

And sent it to his sweetheart

And this is what he wrote

Dear Maria, I chose these

As I noticed my darling

That you don’t wear any

When we go out in the evening.

 

If not for your sister Susan

I would have got long ones

The type with the buttons,

But Susan wears short ones

That are easier to remove.

They are a delicate shade,

But the shop assistant
where the purchase was made

Showed me the pair she has

That she’d been wearing
and were hardly soiled

After three weeks wearing 

I had her try yours on for me

And she looked really chic

Even though they were

Tight on her a little bit.

 

She told me that her pair

Helps to keep her ring

Clean and shiny, and in fact

And this is interesting

Since she’d begun wearing them.

It hadn’t needed washing

 

I really hope you like them

And wish I were there with you

To put them on you Maria
for the first time I really do

 

As no doubt many other hands

Will have touched them

Before I see you again

Remember when you remove them

To blow into them before

Putting them away and drying 

As they will naturally be

A little damp from wearing

 

Just think how many times

My lips will kiss them
during the coming year.

I hope you will wear them

For me on Friday night
All my love Paul till then

 

P.S. The latest style

Which appears to be growing

Is to wear them folded down

With a little fur showing

A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS

Now once more

The year has turned

The advent candle

Long since burned

Hearts darken

As we count the cost

And the season’s spirit

Is all now lost

But it need not

All be dark and gloom

Light can again

Illuminate the room

So here is a philosophy

For all of us

God is for life

Not just for Christmas

ALL-TIME CLASSIC MOVIE FAVOURITES – DIE HARD 2: DIE HARDER (1992)

 

“Die Hard 2: Die Harder” is an action thriller, screenplay by Doug Richardson and Steven E. de Souza from the Novel by Walter Wager, and Directed by Renny Harlin.

The sequel to Die Hard follows on from the terrifying events in Los Angeles, NYPD cop John McClane (Bruce Willis) is about to go through it all again as he goes on another Christmas vacation to meet his wife Holly (Bonnie Bedelia) and he is in Washington where he is at the airport meeting Holly off the LA flight.

But while he is waiting, a team of terrorists, led by Col. Stuart (William Sadler), holds the entire airport hostage, while they plan to rescue a drug Lord, Esperanza (Franco Nero) from justice.

As part of that plan they have seized control of all the control systems affecting all aircraft, with no runway lights available, and no means to contact them, all aircraft have to remain in the air, with fuel running low, so if McClane is going to save the day again he will need to be fast.

It’s another great action thriller with Willis still at the top of his game.

ARE YOU WEARING ELFISH EARS?

 

Are you wearing elfish ears?

It’s a very interesting feature

Though more appropriate

On a woodland creature

And not really suitable

For one in your position

You are let me remind you

The leader of the opposition

PLASTIC CHRISTMAS

 

Now Dasher, Now, Dancer

Now Prancer and Vixen

On Comet, On Cupid

On Donner, On Blitzen

So the plastic Santa’s say

Down at the mall

But shoppers have a verse

That serves one and all

Now charge it, now defer it

No cash and No cheques

On store card, on visa

On MasterCard and A-mex

DECEMBER REMEMBRANCES

 

Every year during the festivities

I remember friends and family

Those who are no longer with us

To celebrate another Christmas

And with each passing December

It seems there are more to remember

But I take time in equal measure

To enjoy each moment and to treasure

Those special ones who are still here

Whose number also grows year on year

A MOTHERS CHRISTMAS TALE

 

I have worked for Ebenezer Scrooge all year

A man devoid of any sign of Christmas cheer

I’ve avoided being kissed by the office Romeo

By navigating the office avoiding mistletoe

As the time is ticking towards Christmas day

I could have done with a little help along the way

I’ve dealt with shoppers impatient and rude

But I tried to stay cheerful while I queued

I’ve bought all the presents the paper and bows

I’ve put up with all the countless ho ho ho’s

I’ve got all the groceries and gallons of booze

While you sat in front of the telly and snoozed

I’ve decked the halls I’ve trimmed the tree

I’ve wrapped all the presents from you and me

I’ve written all the Christmas cards to everyone

Which I hand delivered though I posted some

I’ve cleaned the whole house from bottom to top

I’ve washed and ironed till I’m ready to drop

I’ve prepared the veg, I’ve stuffed the bird

I’ve hung the stockings and you’ve not stirred

And the very second I take a minute for me

The first thing I hear is “Mum, what’s for tea”

So to Santa Claus I make my annual plea

For a very special present just for me

Just one year I would like to escape this stress

So that I too can have a merry Christmas