MEASURING SUCCESS

 

When I was four years old,

Not wetting my pants was a successful day

When I was twelve years old,

Simply having friends was success I’d say

When I was seventeen years old,

Having a driving license was it

When I was thirty five years old,

Success was having money in your pocket

When I was fifty years old,

Having money made me feel successful

When I was seventy years old,

Success was having a driver’s license still

When I was eighty years old,

Having friends was success I would say 

No I’m ninety years old,

Not wetting my pants is a successful day

FRIENDS ANONYMOUS

 

When choosing friends

Do so for their character

And when choosing clothes

Do so for their color

But don’t choose clothes

For their character

Because that’s nonsensical

And to choose friends

For their color

Is totally unthinkable

GET THEE BEHIND ME

 

To be great at anything

Takes determination and grit

But you can’t do it alone

You need encouragement to do it

So behind every great man

There is a woman who won’t quit

And behind every great woman

There is a whiny little shit

GOOD IN THE SACK

 

My wife says I’m good in bed

And she’s not wrong to say

She’s right I am good in bed

Because I can sleep for days

Uncanny Tales – (54) A Sylph Like Creature

 

Not just a beautiful young woman, she was a sylph like creature, so fragile that a breath of wind might dispel her in an instant.

She was almost an elemental presence, so slight and graceful was she and so light her footfalls barely left a mark, she was to all intents and purposes a mercurial nymph, a spirit of nature.

She was quiet, like a whisper in the dark, she was that sudden cool breath that makes your hairs stand on end.
But this sylph like creature, gracile and gentle, turns into a different creature in the night when her hands caress her lovers’ full breasts, and her lips kiss nipples to arousal and her delicate fingers seek out the moistness of the maid.  

HALLOWEEN IS JUST AN EXCUSE

 

Halloween is just an excuse

For girls to dress inappropriately

And that’s why Halloween

Is the best holiday for me

ARE YOU WEARING HALLOWEEN KNICKERS?

 

Are you wearing Halloween Knickers?

Is that appropriate for vicars

Just kneel upon this hassock

While I rummage in your cassock

The bishop wouldn’t think it funny

My naughty little Wiccan honey