72 Miles From The Sea

Thursday, 29 July 2021

There is definitely a difference,

So please make no mistake,

Between crisps and a condom

One of them you salt and shake

I got an elephant, for my sons’ room

Though it’s really more like a bedsit

And he was incredibly grateful to me

But I said in response “Don't mention it”

“Break a leg?” is an actors saying

Which is from the distant past

And has become a tradition

Because every play has a cast

Recently I had

A ballooning holiday

- I put on four stones

As two monkeys were getting into the bath

The first monkey had prepared for them

And the second one said: “Oo, oo, aah, ahh”

The first retorted “Put some cold in then”

I got all my looks from my father

Much to my detriment

I’m thinking in particular of

The look of disappointment

When I was just a young child

I was subject to multiple attacks

My father assailed me with cameras

And I still suffer from flashbacks