WHY DID THE CHEWING GUM CROSS THE HIGHWAY?

 

Why did the chewing gum cross the highway?

Isn’t a question you get asked every day

However, the answer is actually a simple one  

Because it was stuck to a chicken's bum

ALL-TIME CLASSIC MOVIE FAVOURITES – VIVACIOUS LADY (1938)

 

“Vivacious Lady” is a Romantic Comedy, Screenplay by P.J. Wolfson and Ernest Pagano from a Story by I.A.R. Wylie and Directed by George Stevens.

The story begins when young University Professor Peter Morgan (James Stewart) makes a quick trip to the city to escort his cousin Keith Morgan (James Ellison) back to their home town of Old Sharon.

He finds Keith at a nightclub which he regularly frequents as he is besotted with nightclub performer Francey Brent (Ginger Rogers), however when Peter meets Francey he falls head over heels in love with her and they marry after a whirlwind romance.

But when he goes back home, he has to pick his moment to tell his conservative, ultra-respectable parents Peter Morgan, Sr. (Charles Coburn) and Martha Morgan (Beulah Bondi).

It's a very enjoyable movie with a typically engaging performance by Rogers and a typically amiable one by Stewart and Willie Best as the Train Porter is delightful.

WARNING TO DRINKERS # 5

 

New health warnings should be

On bottles and tins for us to see

Warnings clearly on display

That the consumption of alcohol may

Cause the dedicated revellers

To believe that their ex-lovers

Want you to telephone them

Even though its 4 am

ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK CAN STRIKE

 

Anaphylactic shock can strike

Even if you are normally well

And I can give you the cause

Of Anaphylaxis in a nutshell

COMBINE HARVESTERS

 

Combine Harvesters

And you'll have a really big restaurant

But a note of caution

Service will still be at best, nonchalant

I'M RUBBISH WITH NAMES

 

I'm rubbish with names

I can’t help it a bit

It’s a proper condition

There's a name for it...

PEOPLE WHO SELL MEAT ARE DISGUSTING

 

People who sell meat are disgusting

Even if it’s halal or kosher

But then I’ve heard that people

Who sell fruit and veg, are grocer