FIGHT YOUR CORNER

I think I would always advocate

That anything worth fighting for

Anything of importance at any rate

Is certainly worth fighting dirty for

SUNSHINE

 

A day without sunshine?

Now let me get this right

A day without sunshine?

That would be like, night

POP

Confucius said that the trouble

With virginity is its like a bubble

And Confucius can be relied upon

It takes one prick and it’s gone

RECYCLING IDEAS

 

At the beginning of the second world war the British government began a drive to collect scrap metal for the war effort You can still see evidence of this in London today if you travel down the prewar streets where the cast iron railings were removed.

Also, housewives were encouraged to donate old saucepans and kitchen utensils and hubby cleared his old tools out of the garden shed on the understanding they would be used to make weapons, tanks, and spitfires to save Britain from the Nazi jackboot.

Of course, none of it was actually used in the production of spitfires on any other part of the war effort.

What it was in effect was a propaganda exercise designed to convince the population that they could all do their bit.

 

Now we are encouraged to recycle in order to save the planet Paper, cardboard, junk mail, glass, Tins, batteries you name it we are supposed to recycle it.

Now I don’t mind doing my bit and sorting my rubbish I have a box for paper another for glass and another for tins and I even have a compost heap for my biodegradable which incidentally produces excessive amounts of methane which is the biggest contributor to global warming.

But now the council tell me I should wash my bottles and tins well I draw the line at that I can tell you.

 

The bottles I take religiously to the bottle bank and I dutifully separate the green, brown, and clear bottles and then stand there and watch the recycling company tip them all into the back of the same truck.

 

You see to my mind it’s just another propaganda exercise to make us think we can make a difference and save the world.

The sad thing is it worked we have been conned but then it was a good plan.

The government likes it because them look green.

The local councils like it because they still charge us all full price to collect all of the rubbish despite the fact, they we dispose of most of it ourselves and they only need to employ half the number of dust men, sorry refuse disposal operatives.

Then there are the recycling companies who love it because they take the ready sorted material, we give them for nothing, and they do the barest minimum of processing and sell it on at a huge profit.

Then we buy the products back again.

 

It’s the government policies and the bad practices of business and commerce that have put the planet in jeopardy, but they aren’t made to sort it out.

Instead, we are made by the threat of prosecution to do the job for them which only serves to make government look good and business and commerce ever more profitable.

DISTRESSED

 

Life can really leave you in a mess

So here are two steps to handle stress

1. Don't worry about the small stuff

2. Remember that it's all small stuff

DON’T QUOTE ME

 

Remember Misquotations are

The only quotations thus far

And it should be duly noted

That are never ever misquoted

SHIRTY

 

I saw a woman at a party

Wearing a printed T-shirt

She was well endowed

Twenty something bit of skirt

And the question "Guess?"

Was printed on the shirt

Thinking for a moment

"Implants?" I said quite curt