IT’S CAPITALISM THEN

 

Communism doesn’t really function

And it’s not too difficult to fathom

The reason for it is simple enough

People just like to own stuff

THANK YOU DOCTOR

 

The simple art of medicine

Consists simply of this to begin

Just keep the patients amused

Blinded with science and confused

This will keep them at their ease

While Nature cures the disease

BANGER’S

 

If you should ever want to shoot someone

I have an idea on how best it may be done

For it to be unnoticed you must do it right

Wait until the fun begins on bonfire night

If you can’t bring yourself to shoot maybe

You can always blow them up with TNT

SOMETIMES MAYBE NEVER

 

Sometimes I need company

Sometimes I need to feel free

Sometimes I need romance

Sometimes I need just to dance

Sometimes I need a lover

Sometimes just a friend forever

But today I really should confide

I need only what you can provide

So, taking you into my confidence

What I really need is your absence

WORLD WIDE WEB

 

A passionate kiss is like a spider’s web

And I’ll tell you why

Because it will almost inevitably lead

To the undoing of a fly

BIG BIRD

 

I was expecting to see a big-busted piece

When I looked over the garden fence

A bird table and some common old birds

Was all I could see which made no sense

 

Now I only heard part of the conversation

But I heard no mention at all of a bird

When they were talking of her at fifty-two

But “tits like coconuts” was what I heard

IT CAN’T BE

No matter how bad it is when they tell you

You never quite believe it’s true

No matter the stories that are told to you

You never quite believe they’re true

No matter what anecdotes they quote to you

You never quite believe they’re true

Its only when you have endured the stress

You have truly experienced the NHS