A BRIEF ENCOUNTER

 

A Lawyer is nothing like a Gigolo

And that’s certainly not a crime

Because any ordinary Gigolo will

Only screw one person at a time

ACCESSORY TO BUGLARY

What looks good on a burglar?

And is colored black and tan?

Not a swag bag or a Balaclava

No ski mask but a Doberman

A BRIEF RUN DOWN

 

What you should do if not sure

If ever you run over a Solicitor

Firstly, back over him to be sure

Look around to see if anyone saw

And thirdly as it is a very big deal

Put another notch on the steering wheel

WHATS GOOD FOR THE GOOSE

 

What is it that a Goose can do?

But what a Duck is unable to

And a Lawyer really should do? 

The answer without further ado

Is stick his bill up his - ooooh!

ONE DOWN

 

I’ll tell you how, if you ever see

To get a Politician out of a tree?

It’s a really easy one you dope

Just climb up and cut the rope

A PAIL TALE

 

Now the difference you will find to fit

Between a Lawyer and a bucket of shit

Is only as a matter of fact the Bucket

PICK A POCKET ANY POCKET

 

Last winter it was just about as cold as it can get

And I saw a “dipper” stood outside the launderette

It was so cold you wouldn’t even go out for cigarettes

So cold he stood with his hands in his own pockets