True Nature # 2

True Nature # 2

RED BERRIES

Red Berries grow
In abundance
On the holly bush
As the snow falls
Nature’s bounty
On the bough
Mother Nature
Stocking her Larder
For the long bitter
Winter to come

WHITE BERRIES

White berries grow
In abundance
On the mistletoe
As the snow falls
Nature’s bounty
On the bough
Mother Nature
Stocking her Larder
For the long bitter
Winter to come

RED BREASTED ROBIN

Red Breasted Robin
Sitting on the fence
With snow falling
God that bird is dense

Sitting out there exposed
Out in all weathers
Trying to look cute
As it freezes its feathers

A Little Bit Of Humour # 34

RED FLANNEL NIGHTY

In your Red flannel nighty
But if I might say politely
You certainly don’t look flighty
But in regard to your flannel nighty
I don’t take my objective lightly
Which is to get inside it nightly

I CAN’T WATCH SYLVESTER STALLONE

I can’t watch Sylvester Stallone
I find his speech very distracting
He was clearly a graduate
Of the Mumbling school of acting

RED FLANNEL PJ’S

In your Red flannel PJ’s
You look quite a picture
Wrapped in the warm
Wool and cotton mixture

But as cosy as you look
I will immediately begin
To unbutton your PJ’s
And warm my hands within

WORDS ARE VERY IMPORTANT

Words are very important
Encyclopedia is one I like
But it doesn’t actually mean
A kiddie fiddler on a bike

THE LATEST WAY OF THINKING

Apparently the latest
Way of thinking
Is that there are
No such thing as facts
And that’s a fact

I DO PREFER NATURAL BEAUTY

I saw her and thought “not a fan”
She was all extensions and fake tan
And she’d applied the slap thick
And her lips needed a chap stick
I thought it again as she left lipstick
Around my undiscerning dipstick

VESUVIUS

Vesuvius is what
We called my sister Grace
It was because of all the
Eruptions on her face

A PAIR OF THERMOMETERS

What is the difference?
Between a pair of thermometers
Take your time don’t haste
One is oral the other rectal
It’s very simple really
The difference is the taste

I STRUGGLE WITH CERTAIN ACTORS

I struggle with certain actors
When giving cinematic recitals
Like De Niro and Pacino
They should come with subtitles

I HAVE SOMETHING OF A WEAKNESS

I have something of a weakness
I suppose it’s my Achilles
But I’m an old fashioned letch
So I like fillies in frillies

A Little Bit Of Humour # 33

ARE YOU WEARING WHITE SHOES?

Are you wearing white shoes?
I don’t know the wrongs or rights
But I’m quite sure you shouldn’t
Wear white shoes with black tights

RED SHOES

Stiletto healed red shoes
Are of such seductive hues
That when they come into view
They arouse a man anew

I WENT TO PC WORLD

I went to PC World
I saw computers
With or without a screen
Keyboards and mice
But there wasn’t
A policeman to be seen

ARE YOU WEARING AN ANKLE BRACELET?

Are you wearing an ankle bracelet?
What is the significance? I forget
On one ankle you’re just crumpet
On the other you’re a strumpet

RED FERRARI

Me and a Red Ferrari
Are not best suited are we?
For I can get in easily
But can’t get out with dignity

OH DEAR WHAT CAN THE MATTER BE

Oh dear what can the matter be
Three old ladies locked in the lavatory
And it all happened last Saturday
And nobody knew they were there

The first old lady was totally batty
And she was in there each Saturday
As I say she was really quite batty
And nobody cared she was there

The second old lady said sweetly
“I’m no lady oh how you flatter me”
I’ve not been here before on a Saturday
And we were surprised she was there

The third old lady was an anomaly
He was a man called Ian from Battersea
He didn’t even know it was Saturday
And didn’t know why he was there

I CAN’T WATCH CHRISTOPHER ECCLESTON

I can’t watch Christopher Eccleston
I find his speech very distracting
He was clearly a graduate
Of the shouty school of acting

RED ROSE

Red rose carried no blush
She was not an English flower
Red rose was not prettily fragranced
She was not sweet, but sour
Red rose though of English genus
Was a spy for a Marxist power

RED DOOR

What is behind the red door?
Does danger lurk out of view?
Why do I hesitate before knocking?
Just because of its crimson hue
I have no answer but I do know this
I would not hesitate if it were blue

RED BLOODED

I like to think
I’m a red blooded man
I love the female form
I’m definitely a fan

But I’m old fashioned
Red blooded man or no
But there’s just a bit
Too much on show

RED LEATHER

She wore red leather
From head to toe
Which subtly squeaked
As she went to and fro

It hugged her figure
And she smelt divine
That new car smell
Is a favourite of mine

That leather clad lass
In the red leather suit
Without doing anything
Could toot my flute

RED FEATHERS

She Wears Red Feathers
And a Huly-Huly Skirt
Or so the old song goes
To me she sounds like a flirt
Let’s see how alluring she is
In Primark joggers and T-shirt

Walking With God By My Side

CALLING ALL YOU ANGELS

Calling all you Angels
Amidst the heavenly host
Come in the name of God,
Father, Son and Holy Ghost
Answer the clarion call
Of the sombre Last Post
And take the fallen hero
Amidst the heavenly host

GOD SAT UPON HIS THRONE

God sat upon his throne
In the presence of the chosen
All was well in paradise
It was a special day in heaven
There was a quiet mutter abroad
And the flutter of Angels wings
Before a silent hush descended
And the heavenly chorus sings

WITHIN THE SILENT ECHO

Within the silent echo
Of the last rites
As the last words of life
Reluctantly give way
To the first words of death
God reaches out his hand
And you alluringly ascend
On comforting wings

GOD IS ON THE WEB

God is on the Web waiting for your prayer
You can easily find Him if you look around
There is no video link, Skype or live chat
But if you have faith it will be profound
Of course if an atheist was to click the link
It would respond with “Page not found”

I HEAR AN ANGEL SINGING

In the quiet of the night
When peaceful silence reigns
I hear an angel singing
And I wonder if it’s you

Amidst the chorus of the dawn
When birds are centre stage
I hear an angel singing
And I ponder if it’s you

When the wind is in the trees
Swirling in the breeze
I hear an angel singing
And I think it might be you

When the rain cascades
Down from the heavens
I hear an angel singing
And I’m sure it must be you

When the sun shines brightly
And its warmth is on my skin
I hear an angel singing
And I believe it may be you

At the setting of the sun
When another day is done
I hear an angel singing
And I know that it is you

ON MYSTICAL QUESTS

On mystical quests
The medieval knights
Sought the Holy Grail
They journeyed far
And widely searched
For a fine Golden cup
Bejewelled with gems
A challis fit for a King
Used at the last supper
By Christ himself
But these brave knights
Were doomed to fail
Christ did not live as a King
He was a Carpenter
And a poor carpenters cup
Would not have been
Crafted in Gold
And encrusted with Jewels
It would be a simple cup
Carved from wood
A humble vessel
For the son of God

WALK WITH GOD ALONG THE PATH OF LIFE

Walk with God along the path of life
When a spring is in your step
And at times when you must trudge
He will be your companion
So feel the blood of life course
And feel his love course with it
With every beat of your heart
As you walk with God

BEYOND THE SILVER MOUNTAINS

Beyond the silver mountains
Lies the undiscovered country
Where I will pass into the blue
And you will be there to meet me
I will walk over the mountains
And join you in God’s country
In the peace beyond the tears
And be together for eternity

RED DAWN

The Red Dawn of a new day
A glimpse of heaven
Signifying a new beginning
Another precious gift
Another day of life
Not to be squandered
But be accepted
In the spirit it was given

A Mixed Bag

SAVAGERY LONG SINCE PROCURED

Savagery long since procured
Its inhumane and bestial song
And its uncivilised beat
Is known to the barbarous throng
Whose ferocity knows no bounds
As it perpetrates its brutal wrong

HOMOSEXUALITY IS NOT A DISEASE

Homosexuality is not a disease
Nor is it against God or his word
And being “Different” is not a crime
It is neither unnatural nor abhorrent
No one cares if Adam loves Steve
Instead of loving Eve
There is no right way or wrong way
For matters of the heart
What matters is that they feel love
Love is indifferent to philosophy,
Theological perspective or social acceptability
There is no good love or bad love
There is no right love or wrong love
There is only love
And any relationship founded on love
Has my blessing

HOW SINGS THE SAVAGE BEAST

How Sings the savage beast
With a heart full of misery
When held within the narrow
Bounds of his captivity

How Sings the savage beast
With a heart full of joy
When his confines evaporate
And he is as free as a boy

IT’S NOT THE SIZE OF A MAN

It’s not the size of a man
That marks him high or low
It’s what is in their hearts
That makes them grow
Just look around you
And you will also know
That the smaller being
Can cast a giant shadow

STATE SANCTIONED ASSASSINATION

State sanctioned assassination
Of a foreign émigré
But Polonium poisoning
Seems a preposterous way
To assassinate anyone
Whatever anyone might say

THE ENGLAND OF WINSTON

The England of Winston
Did it ever exist?
Those days long past
When we had our finest hour

The England of Winston
When national pride
Was not frowned upon
But openly celebrated

The England of Winston
Must be an invention
For it is so far removed
From what I see today

England without Winston
Is not pride worthy
It has no identity
And no sense of itself

THE WHITE HORIZONTAL PLUME

The white horizontal plume
Streams in its wake
Like a long grey ribbon
As the locomotive powers on
A truly romantic image
Of the great age of steam

GLIENICKE BRIDGE

On a grey misty morning
Under cold war skies
Spanning the Havel River
Stood the Bridge of Spies
Where in the murky light
At the hour of the Lark
The faceless ones
Exchange agents in the dark

RED ARROWS

Red Arrows way up high
In tight formation fly
Weaving patterns across the sky
So pleasing to the eye

RED BRICK

Red Brick, built Britain
For common man and squire
Built from the ground up
Until they built an Empire

THE RED RIVER OF THE SOUTH

The Red River of the south
Gains it name
From the red-bed country
Of its watershed
Where it rises on the slopes
Of the Llano Estacado mesa
In two branches to flow east
From the Texas Panhandle
It acts as the border between
Texas and Oklahoma
Before entering Arkansas
And winds its way across
The arid lands of the Great Plains
And flows into Louisiana
Bound for the Mississippi

THE RED RIVER OF THE NORTH

The Red River of the North
Is born at the confluence
Of the Bois de Sioux
And the Otter Tail
Flowing north through
The Red River Valley,
Forming the border
Of Minnesota and North Dakota
On its journey into Manitoba
Where it washes into Lake Winnipeg
And spreads into the vast deltaic wetland
Known as Netley Marsh

RED LEATHER CHAIR

My earliest memory
Of Grandpa Henry
Is of him sat in his chair,
A red leather affair,
Reading a volume
Of prose in his room
He sat me on his knee
And then he read to me
And for an age, we pair
Sat in his red leather chair
Reading tales of daring
And in adventures sharing

RED MINI

My dad bought a new red Mini
He had it parked up at home
With a go faster stripe down the side
And brightly polished chrome

It had leather seats
And the dash was polished wood
It was nineteen sixty two
And it looked like a Mini should

GREEN LEATHER CHESTERFIELD

In green leathered comfort
I sat in a Chesterfield
In an atmosphere
That totally appealed
Among my piers
In silent appreciation
Almost a reverence
Of our quiet situation
A brandy on the table
A cigar in the ash tray
And the world held
Well and truly at bay

I WAS STUCK IN TRAFFIC

I was stuck in traffic
And cursing they delay
And whatever problem
That was in the way

There was an accident
Bike versus van
Resulting in Life changing
Injuries To a man

And my one concern
Had been the inconvenience
But though I was late
I was not as a consequence

Left unable to walk
Or injured in anyway
Yes I was late for work
But I was still ok

BACK IN SMOGGY BERMONDSEY

When we were back
In smoggy Bermondsey
And all the money was spent
We looked back fondly
On our September holiday
Picking hops in Kent

A Little Bit Of Humour # 32

HIS LATE GRACE

When my uncle
Passed away last night
He was given
The last rites
By a Bishop, who
Missed it very nearly
As he could only
Move diagonally

MATHS PROBLEMS

The American’s must
Suffer from innumeracy
As they only have one math
As far as I can see

MY BROTHER TEACHES

My brother teaches
Year nine history
Which in itself
Is a bit of a mystery
As there are more
Interesting years surely

SUPER HEROES COME

Super heroes come
In all shapes and forms
Which is fair enough
But what kind of hero
Is Iron Man,
Ironing isn’t even tough

I TOLD PEOPLE THAT MY UNCLE

I told people that my uncle
Worked for the United Nations
And it was an illusion I enjoyed
That was not strictly the truth
But it was close enough
After all he was UNemployed

I SIGNED UP FOR BOTANY

When I was at school
I signed up for Botany
I thought any class about “bots”
Is the one for me

FESTIVAL TOILETS

At the festival toilets
There was a bit of a queue
Which got a bit out of hand
To my view
But we all survived
The Battle of Portaloo

MY UNCLE MICHAEL

My Uncle Michael
Was a schizophrenic
But he was good people
Was Uncle Mick

I LOST MY BOOMERANG

I lost my boomerang
I can’t remember where or how
Oh wait a minute
It’s coming back to me now

MY POOR UNCLE TURNED TO CRIME

My poor uncle turned to crime
Him and an incompetent friend
They got caught with a shotgun
And he sawed off the wrong end

WHITE SHOES

Stiletto healed white shoes
Being worn out to a party
Well in my personal view
They make you look tarty

RED SKY IN THE MORNING

Red sky in the morning
As the day is dawning
Is a sailors warning they say
But really it’s just another day

Tales of Love # 7

HAIR OF RED

Hair of red
Falls untamed
Over ivory skin
Stark in contrast
Like a crimson rose
Against bridal white

IT WAS MY GOOD FORTUNE

It was my good fortune
That you came my way
For like a broom you swept
My loneliness away

TOUCHED BY THE GODDESS

Touched by the goddess
Our hearts surrendered
As Venus worked her spell of love
And nothing could break the bond
That fitted us perfectly
Like a hand inside a glove
So strong were the bonds
That entwined our hearts
And held us prisoners of love
Only death could part us
And I am now haunted
By the call of the mourning Dove

YOU VIEW LOVE AS A SNARE

You view love as a snare
Of ordinary everyday life
And won’t be trapped into
The ritual taking of a wife
But who will support and
Comfort in times of strife
If you don’t open your heart
To the simple joys of life

THE LOVE THAT DARE NOT SPEAK ITS NAME

The love that dare not
Speak its name
For fear of bringing
Upon them, shame

Denial of their love
Would be a cruel betrayal
For inside they knew
It was perpetual

Try as the families might
It would not be swept
Beneath a convenient carpet
Their bond was kept

And when they were safe
Behind a closed door
Their love was expressed
As true lovers adore

IF LONELINESS IS YOUR FEAR

If loneliness is your fear
There’s no need to shed a tear
For the solution is clear
Just find a love sincere
Someone to hold dear
And watch sadness disappear

OH FOR A SIGHT OF YOUR SMILE

Oh for a sight of your smile
Soothing as chamomile
To ease away my frown
Picking me up when I’m down

MY BROWN EYED FRAU

Where are you now
My brown eyed frau
It breaks my heart
Now that we’re apart
Sugar sweet brunette
My dearest Margaret
Wherever you might be
Come back to me

WHEN I PLIGHT MY TROTH

I don’t understand even though
I wear my heart on my sleeve
When I plight my troth
You find it so difficult to believe

I have never hidden my feelings
But I would not have plighted
Should I, for a moment, thought
They would not have been requited

A SPECIAL WORD FOR A SPECIAL GIRL

A “special” word for a “special” girl
Modesty prevents you saying its true
But if the word “special” didn’t exist
It would have to be invented just for you

HAIR OF BROWN

Hair of brown
Falls in cascade
Over freckled skin
In perfect compliment
Like forest fronds
And dappled shade

KOWTOW IN MACAO

Do you remember?
In old Macao
I greeted you
With an elaborate bow
You responded
With a formal Kowtow
Then I said hello
And you said Ciao
But the formality
Was just for show
So anyone looking
Just wouldn’t know
That the two of us
In that tableaux
Were more familiar
And all aglow
In the privacy
Of the chateaux