A Little Bit Of Humour # 33

ARE YOU WEARING WHITE SHOES?

Are you wearing white shoes?
I don’t know the wrongs or rights
But I’m quite sure you shouldn’t
Wear white shoes with black tights

RED SHOES

Stiletto healed red shoes
Are of such seductive hues
That when they come into view
They arouse a man anew

I WENT TO PC WORLD

I went to PC World
I saw computers
With or without a screen
Keyboards and mice
But there wasn’t
A policeman to be seen

ARE YOU WEARING AN ANKLE BRACELET?

Are you wearing an ankle bracelet?
What is the significance? I forget
On one ankle you’re just crumpet
On the other you’re a strumpet

RED FERRARI

Me and a Red Ferrari
Are not best suited are we?
For I can get in easily
But can’t get out with dignity

OH DEAR WHAT CAN THE MATTER BE

Oh dear what can the matter be
Three old ladies locked in the lavatory
And it all happened last Saturday
And nobody knew they were there

The first old lady was totally batty
And she was in there each Saturday
As I say she was really quite batty
And nobody cared she was there

The second old lady said sweetly
“I’m no lady oh how you flatter me”
I’ve not been here before on a Saturday
And we were surprised she was there

The third old lady was an anomaly
He was a man called Ian from Battersea
He didn’t even know it was Saturday
And didn’t know why he was there

I CAN’T WATCH CHRISTOPHER ECCLESTON

I can’t watch Christopher Eccleston
I find his speech very distracting
He was clearly a graduate
Of the shouty school of acting

RED ROSE

Red rose carried no blush
She was not an English flower
Red rose was not prettily fragranced
She was not sweet, but sour
Red rose though of English genus
Was a spy for a Marxist power

RED DOOR

What is behind the red door?
Does danger lurk out of view?
Why do I hesitate before knocking?
Just because of its crimson hue
I have no answer but I do know this
I would not hesitate if it were blue

RED BLOODED

I like to think
I’m a red blooded man
I love the female form
I’m definitely a fan

But I’m old fashioned
Red blooded man or no
But there’s just a bit
Too much on show

RED LEATHER

She wore red leather
From head to toe
Which subtly squeaked
As she went to and fro

It hugged her figure
And she smelt divine
That new car smell
Is a favourite of mine

That leather clad lass
In the red leather suit
Without doing anything
Could toot my flute

RED FEATHERS

She Wears Red Feathers
And a Huly-Huly Skirt
Or so the old song goes
To me she sounds like a flirt
Let’s see how alluring she is
In Primark joggers and T-shirt