ARE YOU WEARING?

ARE YOU WEARING A BRA?

Are you wearing a bra?
It doesn’t look as if you are
I think underneath your shirt
Your breasts are free and pert
And clearly if they are
Then you don’t need to wear a bra

ARE YOU WEARING UNDERWEAR?

Are you wearing underwear?
Or are you naked under there
Have you gone commando?
Oh I really do hope that’s so
I like to think you are bare
Walking around sans underwear

ARE YOU WEARING A BODY STOCKING?

Are you wearing a body stocking?
Something chic, sheer and shocking
Sexy all in one and figure hugger
I bet your bum still looks like a mugger

ARE YOU WEARING BLACK?

Are you wearing black?
Yes it’s a funeral I know
But underneath the garb
Is that all black also?

No, it’s not irreverent
Picturing you in lacy black
There was no bigger letch
Than your dead uncle Jack

ARE YOU WEARING ANYTHING?

Are you wearing anything?
When you hear the phone ring
And do you reach for a negligee
Or are you comfortable that way
I know that when I give you a call
I want you to wear nothing at all
So when next you hear it ring
Please don’t be wearing anything

ARE YOU WEARING LONG UNDERWEAR?

Are you wearing long underwear?
Something with its own trap door
Well no matter how good they look on you
I’d like to see them on my bedroom floor

ARE YOU WEARING ANYTHING AT ALL?

Are you wearing anything at all?
When you make a phone call
From your big desk in the study
Do you sit there in the nuddy
I certainly pictured you that way
When you called me the other day

ARE YOU WEARING PANTS?

Are you wearing pants?
And if you are, are they brief
Or thongs with high cut leg
That barely covers your underneath

ARE YOU WEARING SILK?

Are you wearing silk?
Against your luscious skin
Beneath that pretty dress
Are you dressed for sin?
Garments of sensual silk
How I crave to be within

ARE YOU WEARING SILK, SATIN OR LACE?

Are you wearing silk?
Or perhaps satin and lace
Or maybe you’re wearing nothing
If so you are a disgrace
You’re not wearing any, are you?
I can tell by that blush on your face
I doubt anyone else would suspect
With not a hair out of place
No one would suspect
With that innocent look on your face
But I know you are a commando girl
And I want to share in your disgrace

ARE YOU WEARING LACE?

Are you wearing lace?
To decorates that place
I can’t tell from your face
There is no hint or trace
I think black lace does grace
Your fine pert brace
Oh my thoughts are base
And that image I can’t erase
Of the garments of lace
That cover and encase

ARE YOU WEARING BIG KNICKERS?

Are you wearing big knickers?
Those good old fashioned drawers
That cover everything that matters
But are still the source of phwors

ARE YOU WEARING A VEST?

Are you wearing a vest?
Fitting snugly to your chest
Well it’s about your vests cosy fit,
I’d like to come twixt you and it

ARE YOU WEARING JUST A SMILE?

Are you wearing just a smile?
Beneath your uniform all the while
Though outwardly well uniformed
You stand there unadorned
Beneath your starchy exterior
You are naked front and rear
Nurse, nurse check my breeches
I’m about to pop my stitches

ARE YOU WEARING A BASQUE?

Are you wearing a Basque?
Is it a black one may I ask
Do you have a matching mask
And will you take me to task

ARE YOU WEARING TIGHTS?

Are you wearing tights?
Or do you call them Pantyhose?
Maybe later I will find out
We’ll have to see how it goes

ARE YOU WEARING ANY UNDIES?

Are you wearing any undies?
Beneath your Christmas gear
You had them when you left the house
Perhaps you should explain my dear

ARE YOU WEARING THERMALS?

Are you wearing thermals?
To keep all your bits nice and cosy
Fitting from neck and wrists
All the way down to your toesies
I’m sure it’s a sight worth seeing
I wouldn’t mind a good nosy

ARE YOU WEARING SUSPENDERS?

Are you wearing suspenders?
One of my favourite seven wonders
That miracle of engineering
Both practical and endearing
Oh what a ransom I would pay
If you would kindly see your way
To show the smallest glimpse of thigh
That would be most pleasing to my eye

ARE YOU WEARING CAMI KNICKERS?

Are you wearing cami knickers?
Why does that provoke snickers?
I like the roomy French lingerie
Are you wearing them Môn Cheri?
Oh how they elegantly flatter
And the colour doesn’t even matter
I don’t care if they’re silk or cotton
But tell me that you have them on

ARE YOU WEARING POP SOCKS?

Are you wearing pop socks?
The thought of it really rankles
Those little black stocking socks
Cutting into your chubby ankles

ARE YOU WEARING A SHEEPDOG BRA?

Are you wearing a sheepdog bra?
Don’t answer I can see that you are
Because the rounded up confections
Are pointed in the right direction

ARE YOU WEARING A TEDDY?

Are you wearing a teddy?
Does that mean you’re ready?
For a spot of bedroom play
If you are you just have to say
Please tell me that you are
Awaiting me in your boudoir

ARE YOU WEARING SEXY GARTERS?

Are you wearing sexy garters?
Answer me that one for starters
Beneath your dress up high
Around your black clad thigh
Where the black sheath is stopping
Where they are lacy at the topping
Are there lacy garter rings
Sexily placed decorative things
Please answer this one for starters
Are you wearing lacy garters?

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 219

Thirty days hath September,
April, June and November;
But the rest of the rhyme
I can never remember

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 220

A farmer went trotting
Upon his grey mare,
Bumpety, bumpety, bump!
With his daughter behind him
So buxom and fair,
BUMPETY, BUMPETY, BUMP!

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 221

Cackle, cackle, Mother Goose,
Have you any feathers loose?
Of course I have you silly fellow,
They’ve been plucking me for a pillow

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 222

Cross Patch, draw the latch,
Sit by the fire and spin;
Fill a cup, and drink it up,
And don’t let your neighbours in.

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 223

Little Nancy Etticote,
In a white petticoat,
And long knickers;
She said she’d show him
For a bite of his Snickers

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 224

Poor old Robinson Crusoe!
How he does miss you so
But plenty of men in the port
And not the sentimental sort
Poor old Robinson Crusoe!
She really doesn’t miss you so

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 225

There was an old woman
Called nothing-at-all,
Which made it quite difficult
To get her a passport

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 226

There was an old woman,
As I've heard tell,
She went to market
With Her eggs to sell;

She went to market
All on a very hot day,
And the eggs were spoiled
So she couldn’t give them away

FIFA

Guardians of the game,
Holders of the purse strings
The doers of deals
Honest as the day is…..

On the other hand

Financially
Incongruous
Finagling
Acquiescence

Guardians of the game,
Well respected,
Famed for their integrity
Their stewardship and
Honest endeavour

On the other hand

Few
In
Football
Agree

The beautiful game,
Is the life blood
Coursing through their veins
These guardians,
These stewards and rule makers
It fills their every waking moment

On the other hand
They actually think

Football
Is interesting
For
About a minute

Guardians of the game,
Holders of the purse strings
The doers of deals
Honest as the day is…..

On the other hand
They are

First
In
For
All the dosh

The beautiful game,
Is the life blood
Coursing through their veins
These guardians,
These stewards and rule makers
It fills their every waking moment

On the other hand
They are:

Frauds
Interested in
Football
A little

NATURE

RUDDY MALLARD

Ruddy Mallard
Ruddy Duck
Ruddy complexioned
Ruddy birdwatchers

SUCCUMBING

Though a cool day
The spring sunshine,
Was hot through the glass
And combined with the wine
And an excellent lunch
It wouldn’t be long methinks
Before I slowly succumbed
To the long blinks

PERVADING SCENTS

Drifting on the breeze
Pervading scents of nature
Tell the summer tale

TALES OF THE RIVERBANK

A bee sipping nectar from a flower
A sparrow sipping dew from a leaf
A butterfly on his way to somewhere
Pays us a visit but it was only brief

A duck quacks out on the water
And we hear a Kingfisher splash
An elegant swan glides effortlessly by
And the dragonfly makes a dash

ODDS AND SODS

1984

In 1984
The world changed
Irrevocably
It became darker
More foreboding
Not in an Orwellian way
But the sun was cooler
The wind sharper
The future more uncertain
That was 1984 for me
Because in the space
Of just a few short weeks
Tommy and Eric died

TOMMY AND ERIC

Tommy Cooper
And Eric Morecambe
Were funny men
Not vulgar
Or foul mouthed
Not forced or contrived
Just naturally funny men
Who made you laugh
Just by walking on to the stage
In fact thinking about them
Has just made me smile

SHAMELESS SHAZZA

We must pay her now
A King’s ransom
A sum in the millions
So quite handsome

And for what exactly
Sacking her unfairly?
Or more accurately
For sacking her too early

She’ll take the money
Without a thought for Peter
For shameless Shazza
Thinks she’s the victim

CRISIS? WHAT IS A CRISIS?

The FIFA barons
Just keep getting fatter
The fattest of all are
Warner and Blatter
And despite revelations
And newspaper chatter
The president contends
It’s an internal matter

AUSCHWITZ

Auschwitz in essence
Was a processing plant
Or perhaps more accurately
A recycling plant,
Recycling an abundant commodity,
i.e. lower forms of life,
Into a revenue stream
By stripping the resaleable parts
Clothing, jewelry, hair, teeth
And burning what was left.
A cold and calculated business
Inhumanity on an industrial scale.
So the next time
You cast yesterdays must have device
Into your recyling bin
Just remember the Germans did that with people

POLYHYMNIA

Versatile Polyhymnia
Muse of singing
Muse of mime
And of sacred dancing

START TO FINISH

Start to finish
Beginning to end
Dawn till dusk
Weekday to weekend
Young to old
Forever my friend

A LONG WALK WITH GOD

SIMPLE FAITH

Faith is a very simple thing
Between you and your God King
Don’t let the legion of Clergy
Over complicate by liturgy
The church do not own our Deity
God is inherent in the laity

UNDER THE BLUE AND SUNNY SKY

Under the blue and sunny sky
I open my heart and sing
In praise to the heavenly father
For the beauty of the morning
And raise up my hands in worship
Of my one true God and King

GODS DEVOTEES

You will find in any holy place
Every up turned face
Of the congregation there
With the power of prayer
Can achieve both great and small
With faith and prayer is all
A fellowship on their knees
A family of Gods devotees

TRUST IN HIM

Trust in Him each day
He is dependable always
Trust Him to guide you
He will always be with you

Keep Him in your heart
You are never far apart
Pray in the bad times
Praise in the good times

Trust in Him each day
He is dependable always

THE WORD

You will find comfort
In His Holy Word
It is still relevant today
The Bible isn’t absurd

You will find no better
In any modern tome
Read His word abroad
Read His word at home

MY LIFELONG FRIEND

My Lord Jesus Christ is with me
He has been my lifelong friend
And when he walks beside you
On the saviour you can depend
Jesus was there at my beginning
And He will be there at my end

THE BUSBY BABESS A TALE OF HEROES

A TALE OF HEROES

Young heroes returning
From a far off foreign field
With hard fought victory won
Where the valiant refused to yield

Like heroes from Homers Iliad
Exalted in the legends
But in the Germanic snows
The heroes journey ends

As the Gods of winter struck
Fire and ice took its toll
And the names were duly writ
Upon an eternal honour roll

Geoff Bent, Roger Byrne (Capt)
Duncan Edwards, Billy Whelan
David Pegg, Tommy Taylor
Mark Jones and Eddie Colman

THE SURVING BABES OF MUNICH

Morgans and Blanchflower
Never played again
Some played to soon
Some could never play the same

Some were cast aside
Some fullfilled there destiny
But none were unscathed
After the tradgedy

Those who remained
Of the team Busby built
All survived the horror
But lived with the guilt

THE BUSBY BABES REPLAYED

The Busby Babes were sublime
The best by far in their time
And when eight of their number
Went to their eternal slumber
They went straight to heaven
To join St Peters first XI

THE BUSBY BABES

The young lads played the game
The Busby Babes was their name
Though they played like magic
They embraced tragedy in Munich
Their plane crashing in the snow
The wreckage burning all aglow
Eigth of their magnificent number
Would not see another summer

JIMMY MURPHY 6TH FEBRUARY 1958

In those brief moments,
Jimmy was happy,
On top of the world.
He had reached the pinnacle
Wales in the World Cup Finals
United in the European semis
Life was good
Life was very good indeed

Then the news came
Of a crash in the snow
And suddenly
Life wasn’t so good.
Information,
Patchy at first
Trickled in,
Not all reliable
Miss information
Spread like the plague,
Then the facts emerged
From amongst the fictions
So many dead
So many lost
And for the living
Life would never be the same

Jimmy blamed himself
For being so smug
For being so happy
For being alive

MANCHESTER UNITED DARKEST HOUR

Broken in he twisted wreckage
The victims of Munics winter carnage
Crashing in the snow and ice
There would have to be a fearful price
And when the bill was finally reckoned
Deaths reaper grimly beckoned
Towards the twenty three poor souls
That appeared on his fearsome rolls
Young men cut down in their prime
Older ones who thought they’d more time
Were all taken from that grissly place
To feel the breath of heaven on their face
Taking the souls who died in the snow
To where the innocents and the heroes go