NATURE

PADEMELON (SMALL WALLABY)

You’ll find the Pademelon
Beneath the rainforest trees
As they hop in search of food
In the cool of the evening breeze

TROGON

In the rain forests the Trogon dwells
Eating insects, fruit and seeds
A bird with the most lustrous plumage
Nesting in holes in the trees
Brilliant and dazzling with their long tails
A truly beautiful sight to see

A WORKING LIFE

INDISPENSABILITY

You think you are an important employee
You think to yourself “they can’t replace me”
Indispensability is in your frame of mind
Always on hand, one of the reliable kind
You never take vacations your work is your life
You work every weekend no time for a wife
There is more to life than work, no don’t scoff
Work is a means to an end, take some time off
You may think you are indispensible but you’re not
You think your contribution will never be forgot
But the thing that you will find most incredible
Is that the graveyard is full of the indispensible

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY

All work and no play
Makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play
Makes a life without joy

Don’t live to work
Take time for leisure
You should work to live
Life should be a pleasure

You don’t have to work
Every hour that God sends
Spend precious time
With family and friends

Don’t work all the time Jack
Get this into your head
You’re only alive for a short time
But you’re a long time dead

SHE IS THE ANGEL OF THE CHOIR

She is the Angel of the choir
She is my only hearts desire
Her voice fills me with rapture
A voice as sweet as her nature
But though I am in a state of bliss
I could never hope for a single kiss
For she is but a visitor from on high
An angel fallen from the sky
No mortal voice could so express
Each note in perfect choral congress

She is the Angel of the choir
She is my only hearts desire
In truth I know she is earthly born
But nonetheless I am left forlorn
For I have her upon a pedestal so high
That even an angel fallen from the sky
When on heavenly wings she flew
Would be less exalted in my view
So I must watch my angel as she sings
As my devoted heart grows wings
And soars up high on her sweet melody
I pray my angel will only sing for me

MY FAVOURITE THINGS, NOT

Black spot on roses and fingerless mittens
Green stinging nettles and flea ridden kittens
All creepy crawlies and insects with wings
These are a few of my un-favourite things

When my back aches
When my head spins
When I’m fighting mad
I just remember my un-favourite things,
And then I feel twice as bad.

Girls in tight trousers too small for their arses
People pretending that they don’t wear glasses
Long bitter winters and damp dismal springs
These are a few of my un-favourite things

When my back aches
When my head spins
When I’m fighting mad
I just remember my un-favourite things,
And then I feel twice as bad.

People who talk while I’m watching the telly
Women who show off too much of their bellies
Anyone who whistles and tunelessly sings
These are a few of my un-favorite things

When my back aches
When my head spins
When I’m fighting mad
I just remember my un-favourite things,
And then I feel twice as bad.

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 151

Cry Baby Bunting
Daddy's gone a-hunting
Well that’s not really true
He’s gone to Tesco’s with my sister Su

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 152

Little Bo-peep has lost her sheep
And doesn’t know where to find them
Silly cow

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 153

Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey..
Along came a spider,
And sat down beside her,
And said, "is that stuff pro-biotic?

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 154

I love sixpence, jolly, jolly, sixpence,
I love sixpence as my life.
Well I don’t actually because it’s only worth 2 ½ p
And what can you buy with that?

PUT DOWN'S

PUT DOWN # 37

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
“What would it take” he might say
“For you to go out with me?”
Just reply to him
“Me to lower my standards dramatically”

PUT DOWN # 38

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
“What would it take” he might say
“For you to go out with me?”
Just reply “a few years off your age,
I would suggest twenty”

PUT DOWN # 39

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
“What would I have to do” he may ask
“For you to go out with me?”
Just reply to him
“Shed 60 pounds really”

WOUNDED HEART

It was love at first sight
It’s crazy but it’s true
You are the one
So I set my cap at you

But for a reason I couldn’t tell
You withdrew inside your shell

Getting close to you
Is like stalking a deer
You run away
If I get too near

Who has hurt you so much?
That you flinch at my touch

I try to get closer
I see a chink of light
Then you slam the door
And take flight

Who has caused you such harm?
That you draw back in alarm

Let me unlock your heart
With my loving key
I will protect you
Let me close and you will see

I am not the man who harmed you
The love I feel for you is true

When I get too close
You turn away
You run for you life
But I’ll try another day

Please don’t lock yourself away
I will keep the hurt at bay

Don’t let him win
Don’t be beaten by the fear
Don’t run away to safety
Like a startled deer

Let me help you to love again
Let me show you love without pain

I will be patient in my love
I will wait if that’s alright
And give you time to heal
Then bring out into the light