Elin was asked what she and Tiger were doing
Out and about in the early hours of the morning
She said she couldn’t answer for Tiger
But for herself she was out clubbing
Thursday 17 December 2009
TIGER, TIGER - SHORT YARDAGE
Tiger can drive a golf ball
400 yards, effortlessly
But can only drive a car
Little more than three
400 yards, effortlessly
But can only drive a car
Little more than three
WE’LL ALL BE KILLED
They tell us we are in the grip of another
Catastrophic climate crisis
That will drown the world
By melting the polar ices
Well if you are unconvinced
That the sword of doom is falling
Then you know the argument is weak
When data is replaced by name calling
Anyone not on message
Gordon Brown tells us in his piety
That we are no better
That the flat earth society
Well is it any wonder we are sceptics
When in the eighties we were told
By the doom Sayers
We would all die because of the hole
In the ozone layer
If we did not act we would kill
The polar bears and the Pandas
Well to be frank someone sold a lot of fridges
On the back of that propaganda
Catastrophic climate crisis
That will drown the world
By melting the polar ices
Well if you are unconvinced
That the sword of doom is falling
Then you know the argument is weak
When data is replaced by name calling
Anyone not on message
Gordon Brown tells us in his piety
That we are no better
That the flat earth society
Well is it any wonder we are sceptics
When in the eighties we were told
By the doom Sayers
We would all die because of the hole
In the ozone layer
If we did not act we would kill
The polar bears and the Pandas
Well to be frank someone sold a lot of fridges
On the back of that propaganda
TIGER, TIGER – TRAPPINGS
Being on the top of his sport
Tiger Woods is wealthy,
And he enjoys the trappings
Of being financially healthy
He has bought luxury cars
With what he has won
Once all in pristine condition
But now has a hole-in-one.
Tiger Woods is wealthy,
And he enjoys the trappings
Of being financially healthy
He has bought luxury cars
With what he has won
Once all in pristine condition
But now has a hole-in-one.
TIGER, TIGER – STROKE PLAY
Elin Woods admitted
Assaulting Tiger
“How many times”?
The police asked her
She thought for a moment
"I’m not sure exactly”
Then with a nod she said
“Mark me down for a three”
Assaulting Tiger
“How many times”?
The police asked her
She thought for a moment
"I’m not sure exactly”
Then with a nod she said
“Mark me down for a three”
ORIGAMI CLUB
When I was at Uni
I joined an origami club
It was only small
And we met at the local pub
But it didn’t last long
If truth be told
The membership dwindled
And it had to fold
I joined an origami club
It was only small
And we met at the local pub
But it didn’t last long
If truth be told
The membership dwindled
And it had to fold
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