WHY DID THE TURKEY CROSS THE ROAD? # 3

 

Why did the turkey cross the road?

Well contrary to the fable

It was to avoid ending up

On the Thanksgiving table

IF ONLY YOUR LEFT LEG WAS THANKSGIVING

 

If only your left leg was Thanksgiving

And your right leg was Christmas day

Then I could devote all of my time

To visiting you between the holidays

BLACK FRIDAY IS AN ODD ACTIVITY

Black Friday is an odd activity, dripping with irony,

For people who, from the moment they open the door

Will fight tooth and claw over materialistic things

That the day after celebrating all they were thankful for 

BLACK FRIDAY WEEK

 

I miss the good old days

When Black Friday

Was actually limited

To one single Day

CELEBRATING BLACK FRIDAY

 

I can say that this year I will be

Celebrating Black Friday

By completely ignoring it

Which is in my traditional way

THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING

 

The day after Thanksgiving

Is known as "Black Friday"

Because it matches the mood

Of unhappy shoppers that day

IT'S SAD THAT IN DEMOCRATIC AMERICA

 

It's sad that in Democratic America

That Black Friday gives them more of a lift

Than Good Friday, as they are more

Interested in bargains than the greatest gift

THERE IS ONLY ONE THING THAT FLIES FASTER

 

There is only one thing that flies faster

Than stock off the shelves on Black Friday

And that is the endless flash of white

Of till receipt as the customers pay

WHAT DO THE WELL FED SHOPPERS EAT

 

What do the well-fed shoppers eat

Among the throng on Black Friday?

Obviously, they gorge themselves

On leftovers from Thanksgiving Day

THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING

 

The day after Thanksgiving

Is known as "Black Friday"

Because it matches the mood

Of unhappy shoppers that day

I THINK BLACK FRIDAY

 

I think Black Friday

Is an appropriate name

It’s not a happy event

It’s like the Hunger Games

WHAT DO THE WELL FED SHOPPERS EAT

 

What do the well fed shoppers eat

Among the throng on Black Friday?

Obviously they gorge themselves

On leftovers from Thanksgiving Day

AT THANKSGIVING TIME

 

At thanksgiving time

Turkeys, will like as not

Do the thanksgiving dance

Known as the turkey trot

RED EYE

 

In all the photos of her

She was terribly Red Eyed

I thought it was the camera

But no matter how I tried

I couldn’t get a good shot

But it wasn’t a lack of skill

Or any technical fault

It turned out she was evil

ARE YOU WEARING A TURKEY SUIT?

 

Are you wearing a turkey suit?

I really love holiday pranks

But you look like a total arse

And for that I give thanks

WHY DID THE TURKEY CROSS THE ROAD? # 2

 

Why did the turkey cross the road?

There was a very simple reason

It was due to a lack of options for a Turkey

During the Thanksgiving season

THE THANKSGIVING TURKEY

 

The Thanksgiving Turkey

Risked being stricken

When he crossed the road

To prove he wasn't chicken!

WHY DID THE TURKEY CROSS THE ROAD? # 3

 

Why did the turkey cross the road?

Well contrary to the fable

It was to avoid ending up

On the Thanksgiving table

THERE IS ONLY ONE THING THAT FLIES FASTER

 

There is only one thing that flies faster

Than stock off the shelves on Black Friday

And that is the endless flash of white

Of till receipt as the customers pay

IF ONLY YOUR LEFT LEG WAS THANKSGIVING

If only your left leg was Thanksgiving

And your right leg was Christmas day

Then I could devote all of my time

To visiting you between the holidays