DRY JANUARY

 

A month without alcohol

Isn’t what makes January dry

What does, is sex without foreplay

Or indeed the use of KY

THANK GOD IT’S FEBRUARY

 

Thank God it’s February

And the month of January

Is now just a memory

And thank God for Salary

I HATE JANUARY

 

I hate January

January, I do not enjoy

It has no pleasure

It has no joy

 

Christmas is over

All the money has gone

5 weeks till payday

January is wrong

 

I love December

December has it all

December is the time

To have a ball

 

In fact December

Has to much fun

And not enough time

To get it all done

 

The Festivities

Leave us in a daze

There is too much

For 31 days

 

So, the solution

Is a simple one

I can’t believe

It hasn’t been done

 

Get rid of January

No one likes it

Have two Decembers

Then everything will fit

THANK GOD IT’S FEBRUARY

 

Thank God it’s February

And the month of January

Is now just a memory

And thank God for Salary

THEY FIRST MET ON A SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EVE

They first met on a special Christmas Eve

And chemistry sparked between the two

When passions fires were truly quenched

He asked before bidding her a fond adieu

“What are you doing on New Year’s Eve?”

She replied “oh I’m definitely doing you” 

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION # 3

 

I was divorced from my wife

Due to my serial infidelity

And found myself in bed

With a girl called Felicity

It was on New Year’s Day

When she asked me

“Did you make a resolution?

What was it? Go on tell me”

I replied “Not to be unfaithful

Ever again to my chosen mate”

“How’s that going?” she asked 

“Ask me after our second date”

THE YEAR IS TURNING

 

The year is turning, the cycle

Has made another revolution

It’s time once more to make

The obligatory resolution

Which is broken within days

But this year I have a solution

In order to make it last

I will not make a resolution

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 343

 

Hot cross buns!

Hot cross buns!

I don’t care if they’re

One a penny,

Its only January

FROM ONE YEAR TO THE NEXT

 

I want to kiss you

On December 31^st

Before the clock strikes twelve

Until the last chime

Echoes in the night

Of January the first

So one year will come to an end

In the most amazing way

And the next will have

A beautiful beginning

DRY JANUARY

 

A month without alcohol

Isn’t what makes January dry

What does, is sex without foreplay

Or indeed the use of KY

MY NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION

 

My New Year’s resolution

And my reasoning is sound

And that is to get in shape,

In the end, I chose round

I HATE JANUARY

 

I hate January

January, I do not enjoy

It has no pleasure

It has no joy

 

Christmas is over

All the money has gone

5 weeks till payday

January is wrong

 

I love December

December has it all

December is the time

To have a ball

 

In fact December

Has to much fun

And not enough time

To get it all done

 

The Festivities

Leave us in a daze

There is too much

For 31 days

 

So the solution

Is a simple one

I can’t believe

It hasn’t been done

 

Get rid of January

No one likes it

Have two Decembers

Then everything will fit

JANUARY BLUES

 

I hate the month of January

Every single day from New Years day

To the 31^st day

I hate the month of January

With every fibre of my being

You may say it’s just the January blues

That colours my views        

But it’s much deeper than that.

It’s always such a long depressing month

With dreary weather and miserable people

It’s the inevitable aftermath

That follows a joyful Christmas

Its going back to work to the same depressing job

You so happily left behind you on Christmas Eve

It’s the empty bank account

And the look ahead at the five long weeks till payday

Its New Years resolutions and not keeping them

I hate the month of January

From day one, new years day

With it’s reminder of things to come

Another bloody awful year ahead

January fills me with dread

DRY JANUARY

 

A month without alcohol

Isn’t what makes January dry

What does, is sex without foreplay

Or indeed the use of KY