Showing posts with label Christmas Tree. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas Tree. Show all posts

Wednesday, 10 November 2021

The Silver Tinsel Tree

 

Being born in the late fifties I have few recollections of that austere decade, almost all of my earliest memories are from the brasher, brighter and less restrained sixties.

As a result my early memories of Christmas are of a bright and sparkly time when paper chains and the watery colours of paper stars, bells and balls were being replaced by foil and tinsel.

Hence the Silver Tinsel Christmas Tree, looking back it was a quite unspectacular specimen of a tree compared to what’s on offer nowadays, but we loved it.

It stood less than 5 feet tall with its fold down tinsel covered wire branches tipped with red beads to symbolise berries.

However by the time Dad had worked his not inconsiderable magic and covered it with every size, shape and shade of bauble, glass birds with feathered tails, lantern lights, strands of brightly coloured tinsel, chocolate treats and tiny crackers lain on the branches it was transformed and was absolutely stunning,

It was the only tree I ever knew until my teenage years came to an end when in the mid-seventies I suggested we have a real tree just for a change.

I would never have suggested it if I had realised that it would signal the death knell of the Silver Tinsel Tree as the following year it was replaced by a green plastic tree more akin to those of today.

After my Dad died a few years later the task of decorating the tree fell to me I realised sadly that I hadn’t inherited his tree dressing skill and was never able to equal him.

I came close one year, in 1983 but I think in the end I merely flattered to deceive, the task has fallen to my wife for the past 24 years, she makes a far better fist of it then I ever could.

Whether she possesses the necessary skill to transform a Silver Tinsel Tree however we will never know.

 

 

Tuesday, 8 December 2020

Uncanny Christmas Tales – (006) The Silver Tinsel Tree

 

Being born in the late fifties I have few recollections of that austere decade, almost all of my earliest memories are from the brasher, brighter and less restrained sixties.

As a result my early memories of Christmas are of a bright and sparkly time when paper chains and the watery colours of paper stars, bells and balls were being replaced by foil and tinsel.

Hence the Silver Tinsel Christmas Tree, looking back it was a quite unspectacular specimen of a tree compared to what’s on offer nowadays, but we loved it.

It stood less than 5 feet tall with its fold down tinsel covered wire branches tipped with red beads to symbolise berries.

However by the time Dad had worked his not inconsiderable magic and covered it with every size, shape and shade of bauble, glass birds with feathered tails, lantern lights, strands of brightly coloured tinsel, chocolate treats and tiny crackers lain on the branches it was transformed and was absolutely stunning,

It was the only Christmas tree I ever knew until my teenage years came to an end when in the mid-seventies I suggested we have a real tree just for a change.

I would never have suggested it if I had realised that it would signal the death knell of the Silver Tinsel Tree as the following year it was replaced by a green plastic tree more akin to those of today.

After my Dad died a few years later the task of decorating the tree fell to me and I realised sadly that I hadn’t inherited his tree dressing skill and was never able to equal him.

I came close one year, in 1983 but I think in the end I merely flattered to deceive.

Thankfully the task has fallen to my wife for the past 29 years, she makes a far better fist of it than I ever could, whether she possesses the necessary skill to transform a Silver Tinsel Tree however we will never know.

Friday, 16 December 2016

Christmas 2016 # 2

AS KIDS EVERY CHRISTMAS TIME

As kids every Christmas time
We would really go berserk
But now I’m grown up I think
It’s just a lot of extra work

AT CHRISTMAS WHEN I WAS A CHILD

At Christmas when I was a child
I always used to resent
Getting items of clothing
As they weren’t a proper present

But that all changed later
And I would always make a fuss
When I was in my teens
If I didn’t get clothes for Christmas

SHINY RED BAUBLES

Shiny red baubles
Can be a sign of the Season
But for my brother
An STD was the reason

WE HAD TO CUT THE LEGS OFF

We had to cut the legs off
The turkey to get it in the oven
But I think we should have
Killed it first on reflection

INSTEAD OF THE TRADITIONAL TURKEY

Instead of the traditional Turkey
We had Venison this year
While up at the North Pole
Santa was missing a Reindeer

FOR OUR CHRISTMAS DINNER

For our Christmas dinner
We had German sprouts
And they in no way allayed
Any low emission doubts

I DECIDED TO SPICE UP CHRISTMAS

I decided to spice up Christmas
And along with some scanties
I bought her some special toys
That cost me a fortune in batteries

WHICH CAROLS DO YOU WANT TO DO?

“Which carols do you want to do?”
The music teacher asked me
I misunderstood the question and replied
“Needham, Crow and Vitale”

WITH TWO DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS

With two days till Christmas
Sales will definitely pick up a bit
As men start Christmas shopping
And start to buy ‘any old shit’

JESUS WAS EXACTLY 7LB WHEN HE WAS BORN

Jesus was exactly 7lb when he was born
And they told every visiting stranger
And Mary and Joseph knew it was true
Because They had a weigh in the manger.

SNOWMEN ARE RUBBISH AT CRICKET

Snowmen are rubbish at cricket
They only play when the snow falls
Even then they can’t hit the wicket
And they keep bowling snow-balls

THE GREAT BRITISH BAKE-OFF NATIVITY

The Great British Bake-Off nativity
Is to be a real festive feast
And baker Paul Hollywood says its
Because the Star is in the Yeast

DEAR SANTA, ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

“Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas
This year is a brother”
Santa replied and said “ok, can do, just
Send me your mother”

Wednesday, 14 December 2016

Christmas 2016 # 1

WHERE IS YOUR CHRISTMAS SPIRIT?

Where is your Christmas Spirit?
Tell me are you feeling it yet?
Why are you looking over there?
It’s not in your liquor cabinet

I REMEMBER THE TIME

I remember the time
I stopped believing in Santa Claus
And getting pants and socks
In my stocking was the cause

FAMILIES ARE AN ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE

Families are an absolute nightmare
I wouldn’t visit mine on a dare
Santa Claus has the right idea
Visiting people only once a year

I ALWAYS ENJOY THE OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTIES

I always enjoy the office Christmas parties
It’s my favourite part of the holiday
What I don’t like about the Christmas parties
Is looking for a new job the next day

CHRISTMAS HAS BEEN CANCELLED!

Christmas has been cancelled!
Let me make it perfectly clear
Santa died laughing when I told him
I’d been a good boy this year!

REMEMBER, CHRISTMAS ISN'T ABOUT

Remember, Christmas isn't about
How big the tree is, or what's under it
Or the Christmas lights and decorations
It's about the people who are around it

IN THE RUN UP TO CHRISTMAS BE ESPECIALLY

In the run up to Christmas be especially
Kind and caring to those around you
Because in the office Secret Santa
You don’t know who will be buying for you

CHRISTMAS PARADOX

One of the paradoxes of family life
Is that kids will never admit to parents
That they don’t believe in Santa Claus
While every Christmas they get presents

FOR WOMEN THE HOLIDAY SHOPPING SEASON

For women the holiday shopping season
Starts on all hallows Eve
For men the holiday shopping season
Starts on Christmas Eve

A LITTLE BOY WROTE TO SANTA CLAUSE

A little boy wrote to Santa Clause
“Please send me a brother”
Santa Clause wrote him back,
“Ok, send me your mother”

THAT'S POLITICAL CORRECTNESS THAT IS # 1

That's political correctness that is
In one of its insidious ways
That’s stops us saying merry Christmas
And makes us say happy holidays

WHEN YOU OPEN THE WINDOWS

When you open the windows
Throughout the festive season
On Microsoft’s advent calendar
They suddenly close for no reason

I GOT AN INAPPROPRIATE PRESENT

I got an inappropriate present
From my grandparents you know
Ordinarily a Slinky is a great gift
But not if you live in a bungalow