AS KIDS EVERY CHRISTMAS TIME
As kids every Christmas time
We would really go berserk
But now I’m grown up I think
It’s just a lot of extra work
AT CHRISTMAS WHEN I WAS A CHILD
At Christmas when I was a child
I always used to resent
Getting items of clothing
As they weren’t a proper present
But that all changed later
And I would always make a fuss
When I was in my teens
If I didn’t get clothes for Christmas
SHINY RED BAUBLES
Shiny red baubles
Can be a sign of the Season
But for my brother
An STD was the reason
WE HAD TO CUT THE LEGS OFF
We had to cut the legs off
The turkey to get it in the oven
But I think we should have
Killed it first on reflection
INSTEAD OF THE TRADITIONAL TURKEY
Instead of the traditional Turkey
We had Venison this year
While up at the North Pole
Santa was missing a Reindeer
FOR OUR CHRISTMAS DINNER
For our Christmas dinner
We had German sprouts
And they in no way allayed
Any low emission doubts
I DECIDED TO SPICE UP CHRISTMAS
I decided to spice up Christmas
And along with some scanties
I bought her some special toys
That cost me a fortune in batteries
WHICH CAROLS DO YOU WANT TO DO?
“Which carols do you want to do?”
The music teacher asked me
I misunderstood the question and replied
“Needham, Crow and Vitale”
WITH TWO DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS
With two days till Christmas
Sales will definitely pick up a bit
As men start Christmas shopping
And start to buy ‘any old shit’
JESUS WAS EXACTLY 7LB WHEN HE WAS BORN
Jesus was exactly 7lb when he was born
And they told every visiting stranger
And Mary and Joseph knew it was true
Because They had a weigh in the manger.
SNOWMEN ARE RUBBISH AT CRICKET
Snowmen are rubbish at cricket
They only play when the snow falls
Even then they can’t hit the wicket
And they keep bowling snow-balls
THE GREAT BRITISH BAKE-OFF NATIVITY
The Great British Bake-Off nativity
Is to be a real festive feast
And baker Paul Hollywood says its
Because the Star is in the Yeast
DEAR SANTA, ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS
“Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas
This year is a brother”
Santa replied and said “ok, can do, just
Send me your mother”
No comments:
Post a Comment