THE CRUEL FACTS OF LIFE

 

I asked my thirteen-year-old

If he understood the facts of life

But his complete over reaction

Shocked me and my wife

 

The boy burst into tears and yelled

“Don’t tell me I don’t want to know”

He put his hands over his ears

Saying “I’m not listening no, no, no”

 

When my son had calmed down

I asked him what was so scary

He said “when I was seven, you said

That there was no Tooth fairy”

 

“Then when I was nine, you said

That there was no Easter bunny”

Last year you said that Santa Claus

Was really you and mummy

 

Now on the eve of my manhood

If you’re going to tell me

That adults don’t have sex

You may just as well shoot me