A Little Bit Of Humour # 133

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 382

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
He didn’t see her coming at all
“Hump Me and Dump Me” She yelled
And pushed him off the wall

HE WAS AN ASPIRING NOVELIST

He was an aspiring novelist
And an uncomplicated fella
Who wrote in the basement
Clearly hoping for a best cellar

I BOUGHT A SECOND HAND PHONE

I bought a second hand phone
From a guy in Germany
I just had to delete his contacts
And now it's Hans free

ELEVATED SHOE

My latest girlfriend
Wears an elevated shoe
Just on one foot though
But, that’s Eileen for you

FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 8

Fumble Lina, Fumble Lina sexy little thing
Fumble Lina prance, Fumble Lina swing
Fumble Lina all I do is give a whistle or give a call
And because you’re so full of lust you let me have it all

I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 3

I went into hospital for minor surgery
And the anaesthetist thought he was funny
When the nurse dropped my notes he said
“Don’t lose them, we may need them at autopsy”

WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE WASN’T ALLOWED

William Shakespeare wasn’t allowed
To drink in his local hostelry
And the reason for that was because
He had been Bard obviously

KERMIT THE FROG’S CAR

Kermit the Frog’s car
Broke down one day
So he phoned the AA
And it got Toad away

WHEN ANNE BOLEYN WAS UNDRESSED

When Anne Boleyn was undressed
It was observed when they viewed her
That she was covered in tooth marks
Because of her husband Henry Tudor

APPARENTLY ONE IN THREE KIDS # 1

Apparently one in three kids
Are conceived in an IKEA bed
One in three chavs are conceived
In the stores toilets instead