HALLOWEEN PICKUP # 1
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
During the Halloween season
Just say to any girl you meet
“If you let me show you a trick
I can promise you’ll get a treat”
MY SON JOKES ABOUT MY AGE # 8
My son jokes about my age
Especially in front of his mates
He says that when I was at school
We had to write on slates
EVERYONE WANTS CANDY ON HALLOWEEN
Everyone wants Candy on Halloween
As they march on their trick or treat patrol
But the only Candy that interests me
Will be swinging on a silver pole
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 381
Jack and Jill went up the hill
But not for a pale of water
Because they went up the hill
To do what they shouldn’t oughta
REMEMBER THE FIFTH
Remember, remember
The fifth of November?
Gunpowder, treason and….
No I don’t remember
FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 6
She was drinking in the forest
But she didn't want Tango to sup,
That wasn’t for Snow White,
She much preferred her 7up
IT HAPPENS EVERY HALLOWEEN
It happens every Halloween when
Enthusiastic revellers frequent
Accident and Emergency, where
Clinicians call it trick or treatment
I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 1
I went into hospital for minor surgery
And the anaesthetist was a bit of a clown
“Accept this sacrifice, O Lord of Darkness”
He said as I was lying there in my gown
I DON’T BELIEVE IN SPOOKS AND DEMONS
I don’t believe in spooks and demons
I think that should be understood
But there are always more trick-or-treaters
Than there are kids in the neighborhood
IF VAMPIRES CAN’T SEE THEIR OWN REFLECTION
If vampires can’t see
Their own reflection
In a mirror or anything else
That’s shiny
Then the thing I
Have always wondered is
How do they manage?
To keep their hair tidy?
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