TO A GARDENER
To a gardener,
A grassed over area
Is just a flowerbed
That has yet to appear
WHY DID THE DIVORCEE CROSS THE ROAD?
Why did the divorcee cross the road?
Well not just to get to the other side
The reason he wanted to cross over
Was so he could avoid another bride
WHEN I HAD MY VERY FIRST GARDEN
When I had my very first garden
It filled me with absolute terror
I didn’t have any experience
But I learnt by trowel and error
THE SIMPLE RED ROSE WAS ONCE
The simple red rose was once
The emblem of the English
But alas it has been replaced
In England by the satellite dish
WHY DID THE BACHELOR CROSS THE ROAD?
Why did the bachelor cross the road?
Well not just to get to the other side
The reason he wanted to cross over
Was so he could avoid finding a bride
BONSAI GRANDAD
My grandfather became such
A successful bonsai grower
He had to move to a house
Where the garden was smaller
THE MELONS ARE HAVING A BIG WEDDING
The Melons are having a big wedding
“Hello magazine” have the scoop
However they don’t really want
A big affair but they cantaloupe
WHY DID THE ADULTERER CROSS THE ROAD?
Why did the adulterer cross the road?
Well not just to get to the other side
The reason he wanted to cross over
Was so he could get to another man’s bride
THE MOST POPULAR NUDISTS
The most popular man in a nudist colony
Can carry 2 large coffees and twelve donuts
The most popular woman in a nudist colony
Is the one who can eat the last two donuts
THE WAY TO GARDEN EFFECTIVELY
To garden effectively, firstly, put on a hat
But be very careful, and choose the right one
Straw preferably, and it should have a
Wide brim to protect you from the sun
Some old clothes, but nothing too scruffy
It should be a stylish yet practical rig
And with a hoe in one hand and a cold drink
In the other, tell somebody else where to dig
No comments:
Post a Comment