SELF DISCIPLINED
I don’t need stimulation
Of any kind
Because I have simply
Trained my mind
To flick a switch
If I need to perform
A simple “click”
And I have the horn
I can get an erection
With a single thought
I consider myself
To be self taut
PRETTY LITTLE MARY
Pretty little Mary
Lives on the prairie
And works in the dairy
Her routine doesn’t vary
Pretty little Mary
Skips like a fairy
Sings like a canary
But is cautiously wary
Pretty little Mary
Is on the contrary
Really rather hairy
And a little bit scary
THE WIDOW’S MITE
The Vicar’s sermon
Frank and forthright
Raised the question
Of the widows mite
Quite unnecessary
In my humble view
Because in our parish
There are only two
And I know for a fact
That they both do
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