THE RUSSIAN AIRFORCE ARE DROPPING
The Russian Airforce are dropping
Amazon bombs on Syria
They are so called as they keep
Being left with a neighbour
FOGHORN LEGHORN LEFT
Foghorn Leghorn left
The basketball court
Wearing a scowl
Because he misunderstood
When he heard
The ref blew a foul
ROYAL ETIQUETTE
If you can’t turn your back
On her majesty
How can the royal chauffeur
Drive her safely
YOU KNOW YOU HAVE REACHED
You know you have reached
The end of your childhood
When knock down ginger is bad
And afternoon naps are good
SIT DOWN IN THE MEADOW
Sit down in the meadow
And we will bill and coo
We will choose a perfect spot
But please be careful do
Oh dear that was thoughtless
I did suggest you take care
It was rather ill considered
For you to sit down there
As if you lift your buttock up
You’ll see you squashed
A perfect patch of buttercup
THE SIMPLE DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE
The simple definition of marriage
I think you should understand
Is that one person is always right
And the other one is the husband
ARE YOU WEARING A BRANDY BARREL?
Are you wearing a brandy barrel?
Yes I know it’s like the rescue dog
But you know that the St Bernard
Doesn’t drink all of the grog
I’VE BEEN WORKING REALLY HARD LATELY
I’ve been working really hard lately
But I’ve got a day off today
It was nice not having to get up early
And have a snooze day Tuesday
THE PREDATORY MALE
The predatory male
As he hunts amidst the herds
Is only offended
By two four letter words.
The first one being “don't”
And “stop” being the other
And both words bring a halt
To his particular pleasure
Unless of course
They are used together
HE WAS A REAL JACK THE LAD
He was a real Jack the Lad
All flash and brash,
Living it large
And always splashing the cash
You might well be temped
But I advise nothing rash
If he tries it on give him the slip
And make a dash
ARE YOU WEARING LEGGINGS?
Are you wearing leggings?
That are baggy 'round the knees
As I can’t see them for myself
Can I have more details please?
I TOLD MY DAD
I told my dad “I want to be
A fortune teller init”
He said “Don’t be daft son
There’s no future in it”
I GOT A JOB AT THE CARNIVAL
I got a job at the carnival and
The hall of mirror was my selection
But it wasn’t what I thought
And it was a bad choice on reflection
FOGHORN LEGHORN WAS THROWN
Foghorn Leghorn was thrown
Off the court
As the crowd began to howl
And he would never again
Be a referee
All because he blew a fowl
DONATIONS TO SPERM BANKS
Donations to Sperm Banks
In the UK are in decline
Because most people today
Do their banking on line
FOGHORN LEGHORN’S WIFE ONLY LAID
Foghorn Leghorn’s wife only laid
Her eggs in the winter or fall
But that made sense, as she was
No Spring Chicken after all
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