A Little Bit Of Humour # 107

WHINGING BRITS ABROAD #10

While we were in Spain
I bought a Rolex from an Algerian
Which turned out to be a fake
I’ll never see those 10 Euros again

NIMBY IS AN ACRONYM

NIMBY is an acronym for
“Not In My Back Yard”
If you want to find a Nimby
It really isn’t very hard

ON THE WARD FOR UNWELL BOYS

On the ward for unwell boys
There were a selection of toys
Operation was the particular game
That Tom asked for by name
But Sister said without hesitation
“There’s a waiting list for operation”

THEY’VE STARTED A BREEDING PROGRAM

They’ve started a breeding program
At our local petting zoo
But visitors are worried it will
Become a heavy petting zoo

I WAS HANGING OUT BY THE POOL

I was hanging out by the pool
When I was on holiday in Spain
But someone kindly let me know
So I tucked it back in again

MARRIAGE IS LIKE A PACK OF CARDS

Marriage is like a pack of cards
For when the first deal is made
All you need is a couple of Hearts
And a Diamond to make the grade
But by the end of the endeavour
You will want a Club and a Spade

MY DOG BIT ME ON THE NUTS

My dog bit me on the nuts
When I accidentally kicked her
My wife said it was karma
But I thought she was crosser

SHE WAS SO DRUNK AT THE PARTY

She was so drunk at the party
When her period came on
She mistakenly used a party popper
Instead of a tampon

WHEN I SAW MY WIFE’S BOTOX BILL

When I saw my wife’s Botox bill
I couldn’t believe my eyes
I pointed it out to my wife
But she didn’t look surprised

THE COMPANY WHO SUPPLIED

The company who supplied
My wife’s enhanced d-cup
Used Helium breast implants
So the company went tits up