A Little Bit Of Humour # 37

I BOUGHT A PRESENT FOR MY WIFE

I bought a present for my wife
Which cause us to have a fight
It was an enlightening book entitled
“I was wrong and he was right”

I’VE ENROLLED MY WIFE # 3

I’ve enrolled my wife
On an evening class
Which should be simple
And not difficult to pass
It deals with the differences
She will have to face
Between a normal handbag
And a bloody Suitcase

AUGUST EXPECTATIONS FADE

August expectations fade and this season
My team has once again failed to impress
Our end of season video will once again
Be in the shops in time for Christmas

CHRISTMAS KEBAB

I love a Kebab at Christmas
More than any other time of year
Their infinite variety of fillings
Fills me with Christmas cheer
You don’t have to eat the same
Stereotypical stuffed pitta
Apart from Donner you can have
Comet, Cupid, Dancer and Dasher

I’VE ENROLLED MY SON # 1

I’ve enrolled my son
On an evening class
Using the brakes without
Giving passengers whiplash

A BRIGHT OUTLOOK

I woke up this morning
In the early morning light
I looked in the mirror
And not a wrinkle in sight

My wife, who was sleeping
Soundly in our bed
Now looked like
Sandra Bullock instead

The house looked neat
The garden looked tidy
So I should have gone
To Specsavers obviously

I’VE ENROLLED MY DAUGHTER # 2

I’ve enrolled my Daughter
On the perfect class for her
Learning basic skills to hone
Like shopping on her own

IF YOU ARE OUT CAROL SINGING

If you are out Carol Singing
And you dry during the song
Just stop and Take a deep breath
Then Keep calm and Carol on

I’VE ENROLLED MY SON # 2

I’ve enrolled my son
On an evening class for
Learning how to dry towels
By not leaving them on the floor

NEVER MIX THE GRAPE AND THE GRAIN

Never mix the grape and the grain
My Dad always said to me
And his inference was quite plain
Mixing them would be silly
Well now I think he was insane
They mix perfectly in my muesli