A Little Bit Of Humour # 31

ARE YOU WEARING THAT LADY’S FAVOUR?

Are you wearing that lady’s favour?
Well I should tell you sir knight
That if you’re fighting for her virtue
It really isn’t worth the fight

ARE YOU WEARING A CROYDON FACELIFT?

Are you wearing a Croydon facelift?
Well it looks like you’ve had a shock
It’s not a good look on you at all
It looks like you overdosed on Botox

ARE YOU WEARING A MUFFLER?

Are you wearing a muffler?
To keep the cold off your chest
Well should it not do the job
I know what to do for the best
I’ll just rub Vick on your skin
Inside your thermal vest

ARE YOU WEARING A SMUG EXPRESSION?

Are you wearing a smug expression?
Well that can mean just one thing
As you’re dressed in that dark suit
You didn’t shake before letting it swing

ARE YOU WEARING CONTACT LENSES?

Are you wearing contact lenses?
In your “mince pies”
Because they shine
At night like cats eyes

ARE YOU WEARING AN APRON?

Are you wearing an apron?
It’s very pretty and frilly
It’s not very big though
Just enough to cover your Willy

ARE YOU WEARING A BARRETTE?

Are you wearing a barrette?
I can see something shining there
Holding your tresses from your face
Silver in your brunette hair

ARE YOU WEARING A DUTCH CAP?

Are you wearing a Dutch cap?
Not the contraceptive madam
A hat from Holland, I see now
That it reads “I love Amsterdam”

ARE YOU WEARING SLACKS? # 1

Are you wearing slacks?
Oh I hate to call them that
They’re only trousers really
Unless you’re a pretentious twat

ARE YOU WEARING SLACKS? # 2

Are you wearing slacks?
It’s certainly very casual attire
But not the kind of look
The fashion world desire
But fine for ordinary people
Who don’t set the world on fire

ARE YOU WEARING A NIGHTIE?

Are you wearing a nightie?
Something sexy and flighty
I hope it’s a little see through
And through it I can see you