OLD AGE IS LIKE BEING IN A PLANE

 

Old age is like being in a plane

Flying through a typhoon

Because once you’re on board

There is nothing you can do

BEST BEFORE 1980 # 1

 

I have a Universal Remote control

Which I have had for quite a while

But I tried for ages to turn on the Radio

It turned out I was using my mobile

MIDDLE AGE IS THE TIME

 

Middle age is the time

When it takes you all night

To do once, what once,

You used to do all night

ARE YOU WEARING ADULT CLOTHES?

Are you wearing adult clothes?

Growing up is such a crime

I know you are only young once,

But you can be immature for a lifetime

GETTING ON # 12

 

I’m officially old, as I don’t need

To become a narcotics enthusiast

Because I can get the same effect

Simply by standing up too fast

THE MEAT MARKETS ARE BUSY # 1

 

The meat markets are busy

Take a look for the proof

Horse meat prices are down

In fact they’re through the hoof

I GOT A BARGAIN ON A LOAD OF STEAK # 1

 

I got a bargain on a load of steak

My competitors pay much higher

They ask where I get my horse steak

But I don’t tell them my mane supplier