72 Miles From The Sea

Friday, 26 May 2023

Sometimes I wish

My wife was a book

Simply because

You can shut up a book

I think men are like weapons

Because if you keep one

Around the house sooner or later

You’ll want to shoot one

He was locked up after he threw

His wife’s clothes out the window

What made it a heinous crime

She was wearing them at the time

He marked his golden wedding

With his customary defiance

Celebrating the special occasion

With a two minutes silence

My wife always gets historical

When we argue, not hysterical

She drags up things you know

That happened many years ago

At my advanced age I’m sometimes

Overwhelmed by the urge to get home

Get into my elastic waisted trousers

And enjoy the comfort of the room

I once knew a girl called Jo

I called her Jo the Trumpet

A bit of a musical strumpet

She was certainly crumpet

But her lips were hard and dry