STALKING CLAIM

 

My brother, who is a BS talker,

Claims to have a stalker

My wife said it was different to see

As his trouser were too baggy

MY BROTHER SWALLOWED MY TORCH

 

My brother swallowed my torch

But I wasn’t too upset though

Because his little face lit up

And his eyes were all aglow

OPPOSITES ATTRACT THEY SAY

 

Opposites attract they say

And for my wife and I

Nothing could be truer

As I have an eight-inch penis

And she doesn’t know

How to use a ruler

MY WIFE WAS VERY EMBARRASSED OF ME

 

My wife was very embarrassed of me

So much so in her view

That on our wedding day

I was only invited to the evening do

PEDANTIC WIFE

 

My wife said if I don’t stop

Being pedantic

I’ll have less friends

I turned to her and said

“That’s not true,

I will have fewer friends”

MY WIFE’S BIRTHDAY TOY

 

It was my wife’s birthday

So, I bought a sex toy for her

I don’t think it’s her fave

But it’s definitely up there

A TROPHY SISTER-IN-LAW

 

My brother decided

To take himself

A trophy wife

And I admit I was taken a back

As her ears stuck out

And the names

Of prior winner’s

Were tattooed down her back