THE FIRST SIGN IS FORGETTING NAMES

 

The first sign is forgetting names

And that really makes you frown

Then you forget to pull your flies up

Finally, you forget to pull it down

I KNOW I’M GETTING OLD # 1

 

You know you’re getting old

When answering your phone cheerily

There is silence on the other end

And you realize it was on the TV

ARE YOU WEARING A SINGLE FAKE EYELASH?

 

Are you wearing a single fake eyelash?

I’m almost certain there should be two

What happened to the other one?

Did someone beat it to death with a shoe?

YOU SPEND YOUR LIFE AVOIDING CONFLICT

 

“You spend your life avoiding conflict”

My new therapist has just said

I suppose he has a point, because visiting

War zones fills me with dread

I REALLY LIKE TWENTY FIVE

 

I really like twenty five

Letters of the alphabet

I don’t care for the other one 

I don’t know y, I forget

I WAS EAVESDROPPING ON THE BUS

 

I was eavesdropping on the bus

But I couldn’t quite get the gist

They mentioned Angry Birds

But was it the game or feminists

SOMETIMES MARKETING

Sometimes marketing

Really confuses me

For example “a free gift”

Aren't all gifts free?