72 Miles From The Sea

Wednesday, 22 March 2023

Tuesday’s child isn’t full of grace

Because she and her friend Trace

Are full of cheap cider and ale

And will end up in A&E without fail

Are you wearing slutty garb?

And are you trying to talk smut

Well, I admire your endeavour, but

You’re wearing too much for a slut

Marriage is all about compromise

For example my wife wanted a cat

I on the other hand did not want one

So, we compromised and got a cat

The end of the world is not a joke

In fact it’s a source of great sorrow

But people still tell end of the world

Jokes like there is no tomorrow

What makes philanderers chase women

They have no intention of marrying?

Clearly the same urge that makes canines

Chase cars they have no intention of driving

I always figured that Michael’s family tree

Must have been from the cactus family

Because I’ve met the relatives of Mick

And everyone on his family tree is a prick

“Money is not the key to happiness”

That’s what they always say, but

Of course if you have enough money,

You can have your own key cut