Friday, 20 January 2023

ARE YOU WEARING LACE GARTERS?

 

Are you wearing lace garters?

Answer me that one for starters

Beneath your dress up high

Around your black clad thigh

Where the black sheath is stopping

Where they are lacy at the topping

Are there lacy garter rings

Sexily placed decorative things

Please answer this one for starters

Are you wearing lacy garters?

A TODDLER STARTS CHEWING ON A SLUG

 

A toddler starts chewing on a slug

As mum looks on and squirms

But she asked what it tasted like

And the toddler replied “Worms”

A WEED IS A PLANT THAT HAS SIMPLY MASTERED

 

A weed is a plant that has simply mastered

Every survival skill in the way it grows

But with all its hardy guile and cunning

They haven’t yet learned to grow in rows

A MAN WAS LEFT MENTALLY SCARRED

A man was left mentally scarred

After swinging from trees in his yard

When a branch snagged on his leotard

So, he was hoisted on his own petard

I’M A REALLY RUBBISH GARDENER

 

I’m a really rubbish gardener

I find it all a bit of a chore

If only I was better outside

At simple horticulture

And grow stuff in the garden

Like I do in the refrigerator

THE WAY TO GARDEN EFFECTIVELY

 

To garden effectively, firstly, put on a hat

But be very careful, and choose the right one

Straw preferably, and it should have a

Wide brim to protect you from the sun

Some old clothes, but nothing too scruffy 

It should be a stylish yet practical rig

And with a hoe in one hand and a cold drink

In the other, tell somebody else where to dig

TO A GARDENER

 

To a gardener,

A grassed over area

Is just a flowerbed

That has yet to appear