THE DEFINITION OF OXYMORON

 

The definition of oxymoron

Well, that should be a breeze

I’ll give you a clue, it’s not

A person too stupid to breathe

PUZZLING

 

How should I begin to describe you?

Well, you are 13 down,

Without exception, and always 2 across

But you have never been 1 down

And sadly not once 19 across

You are four letters

Starting with a S and ending with a Y

You are coffee time and an acrostic too

As well as being cryptic

Let’s try 11 down followed by three across

Which is what might describe you

But I have never known you to be 7 down

A dictionary won’t help me, nor a thesaurus

You are Mind-bendingly vexatious, unfathomable

Inscrutable and infuriating enigmatic

And like most women I have known

You are an unsolvable puzzle to me

THE PAPILLION AFFAIR

 

My friends happened to mention that

They didn’t particularly like butterflies

And my parents lost it completely,

Not caring for wherefores or whys

My friends became persona non grata

Treated as if they were evil Visigoths

It wasn’t as if they harmed butterflies

They just thought them arrogant Moths

THE BIG SALE STARTS TODAY

 

The big sale starts today,

30% Reduction Friday

Which comes the day after

50% increase Thursday

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 332

 

Flour of England, fruit of Spain,

Met together in a shower of rain;

Let’s make Christmas pudding again

DILF IS AN ACRONYM

DILF is an acronym for

“Dad I’d like to fuck”

I got one that says

“Who’s the daddy”, just my luck 

ARE YOU WEARING A SPORRAN ONCE AGAIN?

Are you wearing a sporran once again?

Well, it’s not that easy to hide

But I feel I should point out

You wear it on the outside