WANTED: SANTA’S LITTLE HELPER

 

It wasn’t efficiency

Santa wanted from his helper

He preferred them to be

A barker and a yelper

But then the vacancy was for

Santa’s slutty little helper

CHRISTMAS TRIMMINGS

 

Christmas planning is essential

Or else the festive ambience suffers

And you will not easily be forgiven

If you forget the stocking stuffer’s

CHAVS CHRISTMAS # 1

 

I kept the kids home from school

For the big Christmas shop

Because during school time

You rush round without a stop

FOR STRESS FREE SHOPPING

 

For stress free shopping

Follow this golden rule

And get all of it done

While the kids are at school

FAIRY TALE STATISTIC

 

Here’s a Statistic

That’s really crappy

6 out of 7 dwarves

Really aren’t Happy

LIFE’S VEXATIONS # 8

 

Is there anything more annoying?

If I had my way it would be a crime

Those people who point at their wrist

While they are asking for the time

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 324

 

Jack and Jill went up the hill

To where the Vodka was stashed

And on the quiet moonlit hill

The two of them got smashed