A reindeer walked into a pub,
And ordered
a pint of beer.
The barman
pulled a pint
And gave it
to the reindeer,
The
reindeer took the drink
And handed
over a ten
He checked
his change
Then he
checked it again
The barman
then said
"You’re
the first reindeer
I think I’m
right in saying
That we've
had in here."
He
delivered to the barman
A look,
barely disguised
“To be
honest at these prices
I'm really
not surprised”
I am blessed with Friends
Some of them
are fruity
Some are
soaked in alcohol
Some of
them are nutty
Some are
sweet
Some add spice
Some add
zest
Some smell
nice
But when
mixed together
And yuletide
is upon us
They become
without doubt
The fruit
cake of Christmas
Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Well,
there’s no evidence yet
But ask
yourself if a man
Would
choose to wear red velvet
Frosty the snowman divorced his wife
As the
marriage was a mistake
He decided
to divorce his wife
After he
found out she was a flake
Santa has helpers at Christmas
To get him
through the season
Then he
rests pretty much until Easter
He claims
fatigue is the reason
And he is
unable to fulfil his duties
Satisfying his
cute little yelper
So, he
bought Mrs. Claus a new toy
To make his
neglected wife purr
It came
with plenty of batteries
It’s known
as Santa Big helper
I don’t like lace-up shoes
And
slip-ons aren’t so hot
That just
leaves Velcro
So, I figured
why knot?
I’m not a fussy eater and there isn’t
Much I
won’t eat out of choice
But I will
not eat an oyster because
It’s like
licking phlegm off a tortoise
