If you put Candy canes on the tree
And Popcorn on strings
Then let me give the
kind of advice
That experience brings
Don’t pack them away
after the
Bell of New Year rings
Otherwise, next year
they will be
Seriously unsavoury
things
Tuesday, 29 November 2022
IF YOU PUT CANDY CANES ON THE TREE
IN THE CHRISTMAS VILLAGE
In the Christmas village
At the North Pole
There is much
excitement
Being kept under
control
As there is to be an
election
For every Elf and
Troll
Votes can of course be
cast
At the North Poll
AUGUST EXPECTATIONS FADE
August expectations fade and this season
My team has once again
failed to impress
Our end of season
video will once again
Be in the shops in
time for Christmas
CHRISTMAS KEBAB
I love a Kebab at Christmas
More than any other
time of year
Their infinite variety
of fillings
Fills me with
Christmas cheer
You don’t have to eat
the same
Stereotypical stuffed
pitta
Apart from Donner you
can have
Comet, Cupid, Dancer
and Dasher
ARE YOU WEARING A TARTAN SKIRT?
Are you wearing a Tartan skirt?
And what’s above your
socks?
If I were able to take
a look
I could maybe see the
Trossachs
CHRISTMAS DAY JUST AFTER LUNCH
Christmas day just after Lunch
My family, being a fun-loving
bunch
Engage
enthusiastically one and all
In parlour games to
enthral
At first the alcohol
fuelled the fun
And a good time was
had by everyone
However, as the day
wore on
With all self-control
long gone
The games degenerate
into farce
As an opponent is
knocked on his arse
And the afternoon ends
in tears
As it has done across
the years
And dad makes his
annual decree
“Games are forthwith banned”
said he
MY BROTHER WAS FIVE YEARS MY SENIOR
My brother was five years my senior
So, he always led me
astray
He took me on a hunt
every December
Leading up to
Christmas day
To find the presents
that mum and dad
Had cunningly stashed
away
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