A PRESS RELEASE FROM SANTA CLAUS STATED

 

A press release from Santa Claus stated

That the Poles reputation had been blighted

So Mobile phones were banned, the number

Of indecent Elfies was the reason cited

THEY WON’T BE PLAYING MUSICAL CHAIRS

 

They won’t be playing musical chairs

In palaces or Royal homes

Prince Charles prefers to play a variant

Called Game of Thrones

IF YOU’RE A TAKE THAT FAN

 

If you’re a Take That fan

Then Christmas could be shocking

If you’re expecting to find

An Orange in your stocking

NO FRANKINCENSE, GOLD OR MYRRH

 

Melchior, Balthazar, and Caspar

Travelled long with Gifts to bring

Not frankincense, Gold, or myrrh

Or other valuable precious things 

But non glutenous food stuffs

As they were Wheat Free Kings

YOU CAN LIKEN IT TO RUDOLF

 

Why does the Easter Bunny

Have such a shiny nose?

You can liken it to Rudolf

The thing actually glows

Well, the answer is obvious

And I don’t mean to offend

But it’s because his powder puff

Is stuck to his rear end

A BLONDE GIFT

 

Bimbette got a new scarf for Christmas

But in the New Year she exchanged it

The store took it back without a quibble

Even though she said it was too tight a fit

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 299

 

Taffy was a Welshman

He came from Porthcawl

I think if he were from Cardiff

He’d hardly be Welsh at all

 

“Taffy was a Welshman was an actual nursery rhyme

Popularised in the 18th Century, so don’t blame me”