21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 285

 

My little old man and I fell out

I'll tell you what it was all about

What agitated the lazy lout

And caused him to shout

Making me and him fall out

Was that I had money and he had nowt

ARE YOU WEARING A BUNCH OF MISTLETOE?

 

Are you wearing a bunch of mistletoe?

Well, you certainly mean business

Isn’t that overkill? “Less is more” after all

But you know what you’re doing I guess

Are you aiming at a particular beau?

Do you have a target in mind?

Or are you more indiscriminate

Scattergun like or something of the kind

Oh, so there is an object of your affections

Is it perhaps someone that I know?

It’s someone I know very well indeed?

I still don’t know the identity of your beau

It’s me? I’m the one you desire?

You want to kiss me beneath the mistletoe?

CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 6

 

When you’re on the pull

If you want to break the ice

Say something funny

Or say something nice

Be complimentary

Or just lie in your endeavour

Be devastatingly witty

Or say something clever

During the Christmas season

Walk up and simply ask her

“If she would like to meet

Santa's little helper?”

FROSTY THE SNOWMAN REALLY LOST HIS TEMPER

 

Frosty the snowman really lost his temper

And his behaviour was an absolute disgrace

He kept going on about an aggressive carrot

And he kept saying "just get out of my face"

RUDOLPH WAS SO OBNOXIOUS

 

Rudolph was so obnoxious that the

Other reindeer threatened to strike

He was really very unpopular and they

Thought he was RUDE-olph more like

DIETING TIP # 7

This is a sure-fire way of slimming down

As dieting tips go it’s an absolute winner

If you make sure you associate with the obese

You will automatically look thinner 

RUDOLF WAS SUCH AN OBNOXIOUS REINDEER

 

Rudolf was such an obnoxious reindeer

The song about him was just a farse

The other reindeer all hated him and said

He could stick his red nose up his arse