THE FOLK OF THE AMERICAS

 

The folk of the Americas

In that tropical region

Ate a missionary

And got a taste of religion

IF YOU WERE ASKED THE QUESTION # 1

 

If you were asked the question

How do you get a big girl into bed?

Would you try to be PC?

Or say “A piece of cake” instead

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 62

 

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt,

My name is that name now

Whenever I go out,

The people will always shout,

There goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.

(I’M John Smith really but I’ll never be a super star named John Smith)

SEXUAL PREFERENCES # 10

 

I don’t have a favourite,

I love each and every one

Whether happy or sad

Cheerful or glum

 

I love Totty Lottie

And Clammy Tammy

Fit Britt

And Whammy Pammy

 

I love Trixie Pixie

And Peculiar Julia

Able Sable

And Nuclear Petunia

 

I love Bossy Flossie

And Parley Carli

Silky Elkie

And Gnarly Charlie

 

I love Fond bond

And Nambi Bambi

Any one of them

Does it for me

HOW DO YOU MAKE A FRUIT GUM?

 

How do you make a Fruit gum?

This is easy don’t be so dumb

The answer is without a doubt

Ask him to take his teeth out

THE STICK INSECT

 

My sister is very thin

In fact, she’s a stick insect

Straight up and down

Viewed from any aspect

If she didn’t wear glasses

Before embracing

No one would know

Which way she was facing

WHAT I WANT YOU TO WEAR

 

I’m looking forward to our date

I hope you dress appropriately

A dress would be nice,

If not a loose-fitting top

And skirt, flared,

Its more flattering,

Nothing figure hugger

And definitely no trousers

Stockings obviously, not tights

I don’t want your bum to look like a robber

Garters are acceptable,

A nice lacy ring

Suspenders would be better

I like to ping

A bra, if you must

Nothing too fiddly

Front loading is ok

As long as it’s obvious

I hope you’re wearing granny pants

I’m not a fan of thongs

Or anything tight

Granny pants are quick release

And I want you bare arsed ASAP

That’s how I want the evening to end