IN SEARCH OF THE PERFECT SOMEONE

 

I was looking for someone

To make my heart race

And my skin tingle

I searched high and low

Until I finally found her

At a Singles Mingle

MY MOTHER IS JUDGE AND JURY

 

My mother is judge and jury

In our domestic establishment

She ensures we all do our bit

It’s known as Chore enforcement

THEY MADE A CLEAN GETAWAY

 

They made a clean getaway

To a remote destination

For peace and quiet

And dirty intentions

PROVERBIAL PROVERBS # 5

 

Prevention is better than cure

Well I’m not so sure

Prevention is only helpful until

You are actually ill

Uncanny Tales – (30) Party Favor

 

When I was 16, I went to a house party, at the home of a friend of a friend and that was when I saw her.

She was way out of my league of course I knew that from the outset, she was five years older than me for a start and drop dead gorgeous into the bargain, but I thought there was no harm in looking.

Anyway, after a couple of beers I got brave and started to flirt with her and I was really chuffed that she was a really good sport and flirted back.

Well we kept that up for a while and then she asked for a refill of her glass, so I went off to the kitchen, I thought it was probably just ruse to get rid of me but then it had only been a bit of fun.

However, to my surprise, not only had she not done a runner, but she was waiting for me in the hall and steered me expertly into the utility room and planted a hot wet kiss on my mouth.

Our mouths parted long enough for me to put the drinks down and get a short sentence out. “I thought we were only flirting”

“You have a lot to learn about women” she said closing in on me again.
“Perhaps you could teach me,” I suggested
“Ok” she replied and leant her face towards me and gently touched her lips against mine.

“A little more I think” I said
“You’d like me to teach you some more?” she asked smiling.
“Oh yes” I replied and wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close and then our lips met again and our mouths opened on contact with tongues flicking, I had never had a French kiss before and I hoped she wouldn’t notice, she pulled herself away from my over enthusiastic efforts and looked into my eyes and smiled.
“You're not a bad kisser” she said kindly
“You're a good teacher” I told her

“You haven’t seen anything yet” she said and unzipped my fly.

PROVERBIAL PROVERBS # 4

 

Practice what you preach

Isn’t that what they teach?

But preach what you’ve practiced

Is the advice of a Semanticist

MY BROTHER IS A PESSIMIST # 1

 

My brother is a pessimist

With all his nay-saying,

And a glass half full guy

With his speclionegging