WHEN YOU ARE WRITING A STORY

 

When you are writing a story

About losing your virginity

Please do one thing for certain

And put it in the first person

FOLLOW THE LIGHT

 

When I died, I headed

Towards the light

Slow and steady

But it turned out

I’d been reincarnated

As a moth already

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 415

 

Itsy bitsy spider

Climbed up the water spout

Arriving in the shower

As she was getting out

And that was when

She began to scream or shout

PICKUP # 20

 

When you’re on the pull

If you want to break the ice

Say something funny

Or say something nice

Be devastatingly witty

Or say something clever

Be complimentary

Or just lie in your endeavour

“Hey I'm no photographer”

You can say to her

“But I think I can definitely

Picture us together”

DIFFERENCES # 3

 

The difference between Santa Claus

And a serial philanderer, as it goes

Is in essence a total lack of self-control

Because Santa stopped at three ho’s

HUMEROUS HAIKU # 1

 

I heard about the

Claustrophobic astronaut

Who wanted some space

A SEPTUAGENARIAN PIRATE CAPTAIN

 

A septuagenarian Pirate Captain

Sailed the warm waters off Haiti

And on his eightieth birthday

He said to his crew, "Aye matey"