Heracles when driven mad by the goddess Hera
Murdered
his three children and his wife Megara
The
Delphic oracle punished him for the murders
By ordering him to perform the Twelve Labors
The labors were set by king Eurystheus his cousin
It
was in Arcadia for the fourth labor he was given
His
quest was to hunt the huge Erymanthian boar
And
capturing the boar alive was labor number four
He
immobilized the boar on Mount Erymanthus
Bimbette saw a builder called Paddy one day in a bar
And she noticed on one of his wellies the letter R
Then she saw something odd on the other boot as well
She noticed that the other welly bore the letter L
Curiosity got the better of her, so she asked Paddy
“Scuse me there are letters on your boots I can see”
Paddy smiled at her and said, “It’s quite simple really”
“The one with the R on it is for my right foot you see
And the welly with the L on it goes on my left one”
Bimbette stood blankly for a while after he was done
Then suddenly the light of understanding flickers
“Blimey! So that's why I’ve got C&A on my knickers”
Norma is just getting out of the shower when she hears their doorbell ring
Husband
Jay who’s getting in the shower says “see who’s at the door darling”
So,
Norma wraps herself up in a towel and runs down the stairs to answer it
She
opens the front door and standing there is her next-door neighbor Sanjit
Before
she could say a word Sanjit said as soon as she had opened the door
“I'll
give you five hundred pounds to drop the towel you’re wearing to the floor
Norma
thought for a second then dropped the towel and stood naked before him
He
looked over every inch of her wet naked slender form, well toned and slim
Then
without taking his eyes off her he handed her the money and was away
Excited
at her windfall, Norma put the towel back on and ran upstairs to Jay
But
before Norma had a chance to tell him of her good fortune with the money
Her
husband shouted out from the shower, “Who was that at the door honey?”
Norma
still a little flushed replied to him “It was Sanjit from next door actually”
“That’s
Great,” Jay said, “Did he give you the five hundred pounds he owes me?”
Bimbette suspected that her boyfriend Fred was cheating on her
So,
she went out and bought herself a gun to end the sordid affair
She
went to his house and when she entered found Fred was in bed
But
she found that he was not alone but in the arms of a redhead
Well,
Bimbette was beside herself and she was incredibly angry
How
could he betray her with a great busty redheaded old floozy?
She
opened her bag took out the gun and put it to her blonde head.
He said,
“No don't do it baby” she replied, “Shut up, you're next Fred!”
The day began in a fog both of the meteorological sort and of the mind as a result of excess of the local brew apply known as brain damage.
The
august sun very quickly burnt off the fog but had little or no effect on his
alcohol induced mussiness.
His
mouth was dry and furry and his eyes itched.
He
felt like something was alive and crawling through his intestines and his head
throbbed with every beat of his heart.
Then
as he looked at the stranger with the bloodshot eyes staring back at him from
the bathroom mirror, he uttered those immortal words “never again”.
And
he meant it then most sincerely because he felt so awful but by the day after
tomorrow it will just be an unpleasant memory.
When
he was a teenager, he would get bladdered and next morning his hangover would
only last a little over an hour and then he would be back in the pub at
lunchtime.
When
he was in his 20’s it would last an hour longer in his thirties he would forget
the lunchtime session but be banging on the door at five.
Now
he was in his late forties his hangover lasted all day and sometimes even two.
But
still they would go eventually so even when he said “never again” at the time
he knew that he would still have the fun and face the consequences.
Why do they call it Alcoholics Anonymous
when the first thing they make you do
Is stand up in front of everyone and say
