Christmas Humour # 1

YOU ARE A NAUGHTY LITTLE ELF

You are a naughty little Elf
Do you behave yourself?
By the look upon your face
You’re no stranger to disgrace
So it is my Christmas wish
To share a Christmas kiss
So climb upon me knee
And you will quickly see
I have that special touch
That you’ll like very much
When I curl your toes
Inside your ho ho hose

CHRISTMAS MANIA

Uncle John has mental health issues
And he doesn’t do well with stress
So normally come Christmas time
He has to board the bi-polar express

THE BIG FELLA’S R & R

After circumnavigating the globe
Staring at the back end of Prancer
Santa Claus really looks forward
To watching a north pole dancer

HANDLE MUM WITH CARE

Mum gets really stressed out at Christmas
And you upset her if you dare
Because the result could be that you will
Be hung from the chimney with care

SANTA CLAUS IS IN TROUBLE

Santa Claus is in trouble
He’s been up to his old tricks again
When the Christmas fairy was found
Licking his candy cane

SANTA’S HELPER

Santa has helpers at Christmas
To get him through the season
Then he rests pretty much until Easter
He claims fatigue is the reason
And he is unable to fulfil his duties
Satisfying his cute little yelper
So he bought Mrs Claus a new toy
To make his neglected wife purr
It came with plenty of batteries
Its known as Santa Big helper

THE BIG FELLA’S R & R AGAIN

After circumnavigating the globe
The reins of his sleigh in his hand
The only thought on his mind
Is his wife’s winter wonderland

WANTED: SANTA’S LITTLE HELPER

It wasn’t efficiency
Santa wanted from his helper
He preferred them to be
A barker and a yelper
But then the vacancy was for
Santa’s slutty little helper

RUDOLF’S LOW SELF ESTEEM

Rudolf suffered
From low self esteem
Due to the red nose
It would seem

It rendered him useless
As a parcel carrier
So Santa made a call
To a reindeer whisperer

WE WENT TO A FAIRY TALE PARTY

We went to a fairy tale party
Which I thought was crappy
I ended up feeling grumpy
While my wife was felling happy

HALLOWEEN

HALLOWEEN HORRORS

Halloween horrors
Cross the thin veil
You must escape them
You’ll die if you fail

A HALLOWEEN HORROR

A Halloween horror
Threatens my faith
A demon of my own making
The haunting of a wraith

HORRORS OF HELL

Horrors of hell
Those cast down
Rise on Halloween
To walk about town
Bloody demons
In bloody gown
Horrors of hell
Will cut you down

SHE COULD BEGUILE AND MESMERISE

She could beguile
And mesmerise
She could entrance
And hypnotize
She was a cunning
Thorny little bitch
She was also a stunning
Horny little Witch

An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 35) Trick or treat

I was up early on Sunday morning despite the rather energetically satisfying session with Miss Smithson, and I stripped the bed, remaking it with fresh bed linen before I went downstairs to load the washer.
If memory served me well I’d soiled those sheets with Maisie, Jenny and Molly.
I certainly couldn’t bed Georgia on dirty sheets especially when they were dirtied by other women’s passions.
Georgia may indeed suspect my infidelity and with good reason but that does not mean I should present her with forensic evidence squirted all over the bedding.
I also wanted to wash, tumble and fold the bedding away before I brought Georgia back, just in case she put two and two together and came up with “dirty cheating bastard”.
I know I should have felt really guilty after what Georgia had said to me at lunch the day before but Jenny Smithson was such a surprisingly good fuck and I’m only flesh and blood.

I met up with Georgia, her parents and the twins outside St Lucy’s and was surprised to find once inside that the Reverend Oliver was conspicuous by her absence.
A replacement Priest in the form of a middle aged bespectacled buffoon by the name of Aubrey Brakespear, an associated Vicar from St Mary’s in Kiddingstone, who sermonized at length and the dullness of which was only made worse only by its lack of brevity.
After the service, rumours abounded about the vicars absence, I personally feared for a repeat of the over indulgence similar to the previous weekend, which may as a result have left her incapacitated.
Some spoke of an accident but no details were forthcoming although hospital was mentioned a lot.
A death in the family was a popular rumour as was a parishioner with cancer, a sick child, a crisis of faith, the truth was in there somewhere but if anyone really knew they kept it well hidden.

After we thanked the Vicar “for a marvelous sermon” and said all our goodbyes we walked the short distance to the Cross Keys and had one of Carols marvelous Sunday lunches,
Where further rumours circulated, the general tone of which was sympathetic to the vicar rather than derogatory, that couldn’t be a good sign I thought.
Afterwards I settled the bill and we all agreed that we were all so stuffed full that a constitutional was necessary to walk it off.
It was a pleasant enough afternoon for it, very sunny but a chill wind, so we opted for the west forest which would give us the benefit of the sun but shield us from the wind.
We walked the woodland for over an hour and when we reached a cross roads, the route to the Gregory’s house lay straight ahead
The path to mine was left so we said our goodbyes and Georgie and I made our way home to soil the fresh crisp bed linen.
Although I was very much looking forward to ravishing her taught young body all afternoon part of me, not the part that would be busy doing the ravishing obviously, was dreading the bits in between the action.
The periods in the afterglow when feelings and emotions are expressed, souls are bared and hearts unburdened.
This was not something I was looking forward to because there was the thorny question of her mistrust of me and what she would say, what she would ask and how many lies I would have to tell her.
My biggest fear was however that each time we talked was another step towards the deadline.
Another day closer to that dreaded moment when it ended.
How much time would elapse before she finally lost patience with me and my philandering and found someone more worthy of her love.
But the dreaded questions never came, all the talk was of the future, the distant future, the future beyond February.
Beyond the deadline in her ultimatum.
So was I off the hook?
Had I met the criteria?
Clearly not if she was privy to all the information and all the names of those I had been privy with.
Though my love was for her alone, Love has never been the issue, has never been in doubt.
I am the issue, or does she now think I was the issue, because she seemed content, with me.
Did she know I was still screwing around but was giving her tacit consent or did she actually think I was only shagging her and bashing my bishop when we were apart?
Was I now free to carry on as before without the sword of Damocles hanging over my head?
Or was it my chance to live up to her expectation?
Did this mean I had carte blanche to indulge in guilt free sex?
This was my dilemma.
After we had made love for the third time I pledged my love to her and promised to be good and faithful and then I walked her home.
I spent the three days following my declaration writing down all my indiscretions and betrayals for the titillating consumption of fat middle-aged men.
Still at least when I was sat in my study writing about it I wasn’t out and about adding to the list.
We did do some serious talking however and one of the things we discussed was her work load at Uni.
As a result she said she wouldn’t be home again until Christmas as she needed to keep focused, I promised to support her anyway I could.
I suggested she should stop the part time job and as I had such a great payday from the French publication, see it just sounds dirtier, I said I would pay her rent for as long as she wanted.
She didn’t want to say yes but it would take so much pressure off she reluctantly agreed.
We also agreed on no more Skpe video calls, because she said if she saw me she’d miss me more, and it would be hard enough as it was.
Like wise with phone calls.
So just emails once a week, and texts for emergencies, and I would drop everything if she needed me.
We felt at the end of it we had archived something and we both felt a weight had been lifted though weights of very different kinds.
Georgia wanted to spend the night with me as it would be the last one for a while but she still had to pack and such.
And she also needed to have the conversation with her parents.
So I took her home and the next morning I borrowed Geoff’s car and drove her back to Roehampton.

There were tears at the Gregory’s house and I thought there would be more later.
But eventually we set off Luckily the traffic was really light which meant even after unloading the car and carrying the bags up to her room there was still enough time to do her one last time before her first lecture started.
The location we settled on for our farewell fuck was the kitchen counter, this was made all the more exciting firstly because the house wasn’t empty and second because one of the housemates, Alison, a skinny scraggy titted girl was very OCD when it came to hygiene.
So when I lifted the knickerless Georgia off the counter it was very satisfying to see the surface looked like a pan of pasta had boiled over.
There was just enough time for Georgia to go and freshen up down below and don some clean undercrackers before I dropped her in time for her lecture.
As predicted there were more tears, after all we wouldn’t be seeing each other for two months.
When she was composed enough to get out the car she walked straight into the building without looking back.

On the drive home Georgia texted me, I pulled over as soon as I could, in case this was an emergency. But she just wanted to say that Alison was making a sandwich on the spunky counter.
The poor girl would have night terrors if she knew what we’d done there two hours earlier.
I got a stirring in my trousers just when I thought about what we did there; just remembering the sex with Georgia turned me on.
After returning home later that afternoon I parked Geoff’s car on the Gregory’s drive and then rather wasted the rest of the day, sitting watching old black and white movies on cable.
Later I consumed a rather unsatisfying evening meal before heading to bed for an early night and went out like a light.

On Tuesday I set about catching up with emails and such like, sorting through the mail and settling some bills.
When I opened my bank statement I was surprised to see just how well I was doing and the bank balance made very good reading.
Clearly there was a lot to be said for a deviant lifestyle and/or writing about deviant life.

On Wednesday afternoon, it being Halloween, I made my preparations for the evening onslaught of greedy little darlings demanding their trick or treat.
I decorated the porch with skulls and other seasonal paraphernalia, lit the jack o lantern and filled two plastic buckets to the brim with assorted sweets and chocolates and finally as the time approached I donned my Wizards costume to greet the sweet toothed hooligans.

The two buckets were both half empty by 6.30 and I wondered just how many children there were in such a small village.
I must admit after a constant stream of trick or treaters over two busy hours I was starting to flag.
I was just about to sit for five minutes when the doorbell rang again.
I sighed and put on my best festive smile and opened the door
“Trick or treat” the excited children chimed
There were four young children escorted by two much older girls who were very familiar to me.
One was dressed in the Wednesday Addams outfit I’d removed her from on Saturday night and the other was her best friend Emily Gomez who was dressed as a witch.
“Trick or treat” they all cried again
“Oh a Treat please” I said
As I held out the buckets for the children
“That’s not how it works” Emily said, “We get the treat”
“Well I’m game if you are,” I said directly to Emily
She was always the bolder of the two “former flirty virgins” on the day of her 16th birthday she sought me out for her own seduction.
She licked her lips and looked at her friend who smiled and said
“You can catch us up, come on kids, let’s go”
“Where’s Emily going?” one of the children asked
“She going to use the toilet” Jenny replied “she’ll catch us up”
Emily stepped in the house and I closed the door behind her.
She stood against the wall in her witch’s outfit, all in black except for the white stripes on her socks. And the red laces in her high-heeled ankle boots.
Emily was smiling and biting her lip
“Well come and get your treat then” I said
And she took off her witch’s hat and threw it on the floor before
The little witch kissed me and I took her firm young body in my arms.
Where as her friend Jenny’s body had matured and filled out, Emily’s had remained as it was the day I took her virginity.
I fumbled inside her cloak and quickly rummaged my way through the layers until I reached her bare flesh and moments later I had un-harnessed her plump little tits and got them both in hand.
Her hot mouth was clamped over mine as her darting tongue explored every inch of my mouth and she snorted noisily through her nose.
Then her mouth, lips and tongue kissed and licked their way to my ear as my hands were grasping hands full of skirt until my palms were touching the naked flesh at the top of her socks and from her outer thighs moved up to her buttocks squeezing the pliable cheeks until my hands were entering her knickers and dragging them off her plump cheeks as Emily slurped in my ear.
Once her knickers were at half-mast I turned my attention to the witches familiar, her pussy, my right hand moved seamlessly from buttock to hip to belly and then descended through her lush bush, to rest on her mound, she stopped tonguing my ear and looked at me earnestly before giving me one of her smiles and my finger slipped inside her crease, Her smile widened and her eyes rolled back into her head as I fingered her among the hot creamy sauce of my Halloween treat.
And there we stood Emily pinned against the wall with her knickers around her thighs as I frigged her wet gash until she came
“What shall I do to the naughty little witch now” I asked her
“I want your wand” she replied and giggled
I took her hand and led her from the hall into the lounge but due to her low-slung drawers Emily had to waddle not unlike a penguin until we reached the sofa.
I propped her against the end of the sofa and knelt in front of her and with my hands beneath the hem of her skirt I slid them up slowly from her knees to her naked thighs, taking the skirt with them until her thick black pubic triangle was before my eyes and I buried my face in it
I would have like to have given her the same thorough treatment that Jenny had received but there was no time for that this time.
While my nose took in her erotic scent my hands pulled her knickers down to her ankle,
I stood up with my hands still up her skirt and gripping her buttocks one gorgeous cheek in each hand I lifted her up so her pert arse was sitting on top of the sofa back.
I leant her backwards and her legs came up and I pulled her black knickers off her over her boots.
As she lay balanced along the sofa back with her pussy on display I dropped my trousers and readied myself and then to her delight I penetrated her tight brown pussy.
I looked down on her as I was doing her and her thick black pubic patch and I thought how beautifully hairy she was.
I knew this was going to be over all too soon and I really wished I could spend more time on her, but Emily was a game bird so I knew this would not be the last time she would be wetting my balls.
Emily knew only to well how much I liked her tits and her chocolate coloured nipples so she uncovered then and put them on display.
She wrapped her striped legs around me as I pumped her tight pussy.
My hands slid forwards and fondled her titties and her small hands grasped handfuls of my cloak as I reached the short strokes and her moans became frantic until her back arched and we both came in unison.
I was reluctant to withdraw from her because I knew there would be no second helping that night.

We had a final kiss and cuddle by the front door before I opened it and she stepped out under the porch light.
“You’ve got come on you cloak” I said
“It’s an occupational hazard for a dirty little witch” she replied and trotted off down the path laughing.

An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 34) Keeping Out The Cold

On Friday morning I woke relatively early and was in exceedingly good spirits, Georgia was coming home.
Not that I was going to see a lot of her.
Next day was the last Saturday before Halloween and it was traditionally the day when the big children’s fancy dress party at the Golf club was held.
It was one of Georgia’s favourite events of the year and she would be working all day, it was one of those events, Christmas being the other one that she would work for free if she had too.
So although Geoff was picking her up that day I wouldn’t get to spend any quality time with her until Sunday, but we would make the most of the time and use it wisely.
In the mean time I planned a rather lazy morning, a leisurely breakfast, a long soak in the bath, that kind of thing.
But as I was on the way up the stairs there was a knock on the door so I turned around and opened it and when I did the postman was standing there with a parcel.
Pleasantries were exchanged and he handed me one of those plastic handsets to sign and then I exchanged it for the parcel.
“I know what that is,” I said to myself as I walked up the hall and I put it down on the hall table before resuming my journey upstairs.

After a good long soak and a close shave I walked down the stairs dressed for the day, retrieved the parcel and carried it into the kitchen.
I put it on the table and opened it and its contents were as expected.
As it was Friday and therefore gardening day I expected to see Frankie and Maisie pottering about in the garden but when I looked out through the window I could only see Maisie who was raking leaves off lawn.
I opened the door and called out
“Hey Maisie”
She turned around and smiled
“Hello Simon”
“Come inside a minute, I’ve got something for you”
“Ok” she replied “just for a minute though”
She came into the kitchen and stood on the mat.
“Where’s Frankie today?” I asked her
“She cut her hand yesterday so I’m on my own” Maisie said rubbing her hands “she needed 5 stitches”
“There’s something for you in the box” I said, pointing at the box in question, and then I put the kettle on
“What is it?” she asked
“Well have a look and you’ll find out” I said
She stooped down and untied her boots and then slipped them off before walking to the table.
She delved into the box with a puzzled expression and then a broad grin came over her face.
“Wow” she said excitedly “that’s just what I need”
“They’re not very sexy” I said
“They’re perfect” she said offering the combinations up to herself.
“Thanks Simon, Can I put them on?” she asked with great excitement
“Of course you can hon” I said, “you know where to go, I’ll make a drink”
So she quickly shed her coat and rushed off clutching the long underwear to her chest like they were something precious.
I picked up her coat and hung it on the back of a chair and then made the drink.
I was sitting at the table drinking mine when the kitchen door opened slightly and Maisie’s head appeared.
“Ok?” I queried
Maisie nodded, then the door opened fully and she stepped into the kitchen wearing the blue thermal combinations and began strutting around like she was on the catwalk.
I wasn’t expecting a floor show, I thought she would try them on and then put everything else on over the top but hey who was I to complain.
“Well I was wrong about them not being sexy,” I said and Maisie giggled
“How do they feel?” I asked
“Fab” she replied “they’re all fleecy inside”
She was clearly very pleased with them and would have gone outside in them had I suggested it.
“Come and sit down,” I said as I stood up and offered my seat
“I’m too excited to sit down,” she said
I said to myself “calm down girl it’s only winter underwear” then I thought that with her upbringing she was probably not used to having things bought for her so I chastised myself as
I put a hand on each shoulder and tried to steer her into my seat.
“Wow they are soft aren’t they?”
“They’re even softer inside” she said
Then she pulled my hands off her shoulders and down to her breasts
“Softer than these”
Taking advantage of the situation was not my intention when I asked her to come in, it really was just to give her the thermal underwear, I hadn’t for a second, thought it was going to affect her that way.
Its not as if I had just given her sexy lingerie, it was a union suit as the Americans call them, real passion killers.
But judging by the stiffness of her protruding nipples beneath my palms this indicated to me that she was clearly turned on.
I should have stopped there but I was turned on as well by then so I massaged her breasts though the fleecy fabric and she responded by turning to kiss me and rubbing her bum cheeks against the growing lump in my trousers.
It was obvious to me that Maisie had come to the boil very quickly rendering any protracted foreplay redundant so I bent her over the table and pulled open the trap door to gain access to her Minge, and I could see her lips were slightly parted so I probed her with my forefinger and found her to be lusciously lubricated.
Quickly I un-trousered my tool and with a short tug exposed my helmet before I slipped it between her dewy lips.
Maisie responded with a low animal grunt and then her hands gripped the edge of the table as she braced to receive the next length and that was also greeted with a grunt as was the next one and the next and the next.
And as the frequency of my penetrations increased so did the tone of her vocalizing.
The coffee had begun slopping out of the mugs as the rogering became more energetic and as I was giving her the short strokes she was letting out a single low moan until the point of ejaculation when she just screamed out “yes” and collapsed panting on the table beside a puddle of coffee.
As I pulled out of her and tucked my old chap away I thought
How sometimes things do not go to plan, thankfully there was no risk of Georgia catching me at it, which was one of her great fears.
But in my defense when I bought Maisie the underwear it really was as an act of kindness and not with any expectation that I was going to nail her up the trap door over the kitchen table.

When she was fully dressed for the out doors and carrying her second pair of combies in a carrier bag she gave me a very passionate kiss
“That was lovely Simon but we mustn’t do this anymore” she said chastising me
“Because you have a girlfriend and so do I now”
Then over her shoulder she shouted to me as she raised the carrier bag above her head
“Thanks again for the undies”
And off she went back to work and I thought as I watched her raking leaves that the thermals she was wearing would need to go in the wash tonight after the spontaneous cameo that would enhance another lusty chapter.

On Saturday I had arranged to meet Georgia for lunch at the club.
She had two hours in between setting up for the Halloween party and the children arriving for it.
I had only seen her for about half an hour the day before, although I was invited to eat with the Gregory’s, I declined.
I thought it was important that they should have her all to themselves and spend the evening as a family.
I would have her all to myself on Sunday so there was no need to be greedy.
I arrived at the club at exactly 1.00pm and Georgia was already sat waiting for me in the clubroom.
As I walked in I passed a skinny brown haired figure in black who peered at me over her specs and smiled as I approached
“Good afternoon Miss Snipe” I said
“Nice to see you again Mr. Fisher” she responded
I gave an involuntary shiver after the exchange of pleasantries and the smile on her lips was very disconcerting the Snipe was a very stern looking creature who never smiled.
I reached Georgia and she stood up and hugged me and then we kissed.
“Sorry, am I late?” I asked knowing full well I was on time
“No” she replied “I was early”
Then as we sat down she whispered
“Snipe let finish early because she didn’t want me to be late”
“Wow” I replied
“She’s been nice to me all morning” she continued “and she said there would be something extra in my pay packet”
“You’re kidding?” I said feigning surprise
“Because of all my hard work I did in the summer, and a pay rise, can you believe that?”
“Extraordinary behaviour” I said “it must be because of Halloween, that’s like Christmas for witches”
And we both laughed
“I’m not complaining though” she said, “I just wish I knew why”
“Oh no you don’t” I thought to myself but out loud I said
“Because you deserve it that’s why”

It was time for Georgia to return to work and as I was preparing to leave she suddenly said
“I’ve really missed you” and kissed me “even more than usual”
And she kissed me again and when she stopped she continued
“Especially since you came to see me after Paris” and she blushed scarlet
“I didn’t realize until then just how much I meant to you”
I began to speak but she continued before I got a word out
“I don’t know what happened over there but if it has that effect on you when you’re away you should do it more often.”
Inwardly I said “No I really couldn’t do it more often”
“I love you” she said and disappeared through the staff only door.
Now I felt really guilty.
She told me she loved me partly because of the attention I paid her in Roehampton.
And she thought that attention was because I missed her so much when I was in Paris, and I did miss her, but what had really taken me there was guilt
Guilt for the fact I had enjoyed my dirty outing with Claire far too much.
And Georgia was pleased that Miss Snipe is being nice to her but the reason for that is because I poked Agnes over her desk.
All that on top of the guilt I felt when after I awoke looking forward to spending time with Georgia I ended up nailing Maisie up the trap door over my kitchen table that very morning.
And I justify my actions by calling it research and laugh it off, I am going to lose her and then I’ll be sorry.

I was just musing on Georgia’s parting words and how much I didn’t deserve her because of my roving eye when my roving eye was instantly attracted to a very tidy denim clad arse.
Obviously my first thought was “I wouldn’t mind a go on that”
Then the girl turned round I saw it was Jenny Smithson and I realized I already had.
As I gave her a lecherous appraisal I had to admit that in the few months since I’d popped her cherry she had filled out very nicely indeed.
She was still slim but there were more curves to her now and I estimated her tits required a bra two-cup sizes bigger to hold them.
Just at that moment she caught sight of me
“Hi Simon” she said and tottered over to me carrying a large carrier bag in each hand
“Jen, you look gorgeous” I said and we did the air kissing thing
“What are you up to?” I asked
“I’m helping at the party” she said a little breathless and her cheeks were flushed “I have my costume in the bags”
I had seen her breathless and flushed many times and I felt a slight trouser tickle as I remembered the circumstances.
“Is Emily not with you today?” I asked
“No she’s gone up to London with her Mater and Pater”
She replied
“So who are you dressing up as?” I queried
“Wednesday Addams” she replied “I hope it’s not to sexy”
“It’s bound to be with you in it” I said flirting
She giggled and blushed
“I’m only sorry I didn’t get to see you wearing it” I added as she walked away blushing an even deeper red.

As I walked home I reflected on how happy Georgia had been,
And how she clearly thought I was someone I was not.
She was in love with the person I could be and not the person I was.
She gave me until her birthday to change and I was no nearer
Achieving that change now than I was when she delivered the ultimatum but Georgia thought I was.

When I got home I pottered around and tidied up the mess Maisie and I had made on the kitchen table when she so vigorously received my deposit.
Then I went into my study and sat at my desk and I felt heartily ashamed of my behavior since I’d been to Paris with Claire and reviewed the catalogue of infidelity.
There was the double spank and wank in the Carrington’s stables ending with rogering India on the hay and the next days jealousy inspired session in my bed with Maisie, the Wicked Witch of the West bent over her own desk, oh and not forgetting the double disgrace of Cousin Molly and her girlfriend Samantha and then that very mornings skewering of Maisie up the trap door of the combinations I had just gifted to her.
Shame didn’t really cover it but despite that deep feeling of shame it didn’t last long and it didn’t prevent me from committing my shameful exploits to paper in the most titillating way possible.

I had fallen asleep in the large leather chair in my study and I awoke suddenly to find Jenny Smithson standing in the doorway.
I wasn’t sure if it was real or I was dreaming so I closed my eyes and when I opened them again she was still there.
It must have been my heightened pussy radar that stirred me from my slumber because she hadn’t made a sound and she didn’t speak.
Jenny just stood there dressed as Wednesday Addams.
Wearing a black dress with large white cuffs and matching collar, I liked collar and cuffs to match, blacks tights, I presumed them to be so anyway and low heels but heels nonetheless to shape her legs
Around her narrow waist was a broad black belt with a large silver buckle I thought she looked very sexy which was quite perverse as the costume wasn’t meant to be sexy, and on her head she wore a brown wig with long braids,
Her complexion was naturally pale so her face didn’t require make up.
The disgust and self loathing I had felt earlier evaporated away as I began to wonder how I was going to have her.


She undid the belt and dropped it on the floor as she walked towards me and began unbuttoning the front of her dress
I could see the lace edge of her black bra appear and after another pave the whole cup was visible.
By the time she reached my chair I could see right down to the waistband of her tights.
Then she leant forward and put a hand on the arm rests either side of me to support her self allowing the full weight of her tits to hang seductively inviting in their black lace holster.
Then she kissed me in a passionate, wet, cock swelling way and I reciprocated.
When she stopped she stood up and taking hold of both hands pulled me up out of the chair, then with a shrug of her shoulders the dress was around her ankles.

I intended to pick her up and carry her upstairs but instead we performed a frantic lustful dance as we each tried to steer each other towards the stairs which must have looked like type of horny pinball as we careered off the walls.
At the foot of the stairs we lost our bearings and ended up in the kitchen where I unhooked the catch between her breasts and they briefly swung invitingly free until I gave then a thorough groping, they had certainly matured in the few weeks since I had last fondled them.
Then I pushed her backwards onto the table and sucked her magnificent erect, pink nipples, sucking on them like a hungry child.
Only the 70 denier fabric of her black tights and a pair of scanty briefs stood between me and another joyful betrayal.
Her breasts were rising and falling and I could hear her heart pounding in her chest as I suckled on her.
When I stopped sucking on her tits leaving them wet, misshapen and swollen.
Then I reached up under her arse with both hands and smartly yanked the tights from her cheeks and down her thighs to her knees, then I went up there again for her pants this time she obliged me by lifting her arse off the table and the black lace panties rolled easily off her buttocks and I gently pushed her legs back until her knee’s rested on her tits so that when I looked lustily down at her pink pussy it was inviting me to dine, So with a hand behind each knee to hold her open I plunged in to the salty rime and licked out her clamshell.
"Oh God Simon" she moan as I licked her out and one of her shoes fell off while I noshed her, it was the first time she had spoken.
She gripped the table so tightly her knuckles showed white and as I continued to work on her with my tongue she very soon came.
I stood up licking my lips and disposed of her remaining shoe before I roughly pulled her tight and knickers off over her feet.
“Do it here” she begged “do it now” and she tried to release my cock from my trousers, her bra hanging on her like a gunslingers vest.
I suddenly became fearful of being seen so I thought it would be best to take her upstairs.
Besides the kitchen table had seen enough action for one day.
“no” I said sternly as I quickly locked the door and she looked at me crestfallen until I said "bed"
Which was greeted with a broad smile and then she ran up the stairs like a rat up a drainpipe
I took more measured strides and paused to lock the front door and I even made sure the chain was on before I and my erection made a steady ascent up the stairs.
Jenny was sitting on her haunches in the middle of the bed when I entered the room.
“Hurry, hurry” she screamed excitedly bouncing up and down on her knees.
The wig lay on the bedroom floor and she had released her shoulder length strawberry blonde hair and as I looked down at her Minge I thought again about how much I liked the collar and cuffs to match.
As Jenny bounced, everything bounced although my eyes focused on her tits.
“Hurry” she said urgently crawling towards me on her hands and knees.
Then she grabbed my belt and pulled me towards her and hurriedly began undoing my trousers
“Time to get it out” she said with a look of intense concentration on her face.
“There he is” Jenny said gleefully as she roughly pulled my pants down and released the beast.
Meanwhile I was unbuttoning my shirt when Jen suddenly leapt up and taking me by surprise she shoved me hard so I fell onto the bed.
“Get on your back” she commanded and I duly complied and in an instant she was on top of me and thrusting her eager cunny onto my throbbing cock.
“Oh that’s it” she moaned as with luscious liquid thrusts she skewered herself on me again and again.
I thought as I lay beneath her fondling her tits while she fucked me.
How different this girl was to the shy clumsy pupil I tutored in the summer as she expertly performed on me so satisfyingly.
Unlike the previous times she had ridden me she remained completely in control as she elicited the most sensual self satisfying moans.
Not needing to intercede I just gripped her ample buttocks as she rode me beyond the precipice and she screamed
“Oh fuck” as I shot into her.
Jenny was such a surprisingly good fuck I was in no rush to let her leave and I let her have me twice more before I finally put her in a cab.
Between her and her best friend Emily, Jen was always the shy girl, who lacked self confidence but not that night,
I didn’t know it as I watched the cab drive away that it would turn out to be the last time I got to enjoy her.

An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 33) Mistaken Identity

When I got to my bed, after dealing with the miscreant Snipe in her office, it was approaching 6 am so Sunday for me didn’t properly begin until 1 o’clock and I didn’t feel a hundred percent.
However a shower, two mugs of coffee and some dry toast helped and I felt a lot better as I left the house at about 2.30pm.
I didn’t have to walk far as I was only going next door to Judith’s and I knocked rang the doorbell.
The door was opened by a young man.
“Hi Callum” I said “Is mum ready?
“Yes Simon” he replied “she’s just coming”
Then Judith appeared looking as fresh as a daisy and said
“See you later love” and kissed her son
Turning her attention to me she said “hello Simon, you look rough”
“Thanks Judith” I said and she laughed
Then we moved onto Victoria’s and even she looked ok considering what she put down her neck
“Hello you two” she said and continued “goodness Simon you look a little green around the gills”
Maisie came to the door and wagged a finger at me
“Bring her home sober this time” she said
“Yes mum” Judith and I said in unison
Our next port of call was the vicarage and when the door eventually opened the vicar stood before us looking like death warmed over.
“Good God” I said
“Heavens above” exclaimed Judith
“Right let’s get in the house” said Victoria taking charge.
“I have just the thing for what ails you vicar”
Victoria rummaged in her bag and fished out a medicine bottle with a dirty brown substance in it.

“I’ll try anything“ Katy said pitifully about to sit in an armchair
“No don’t sit vicar” Victoria commanded, “You need to be ready to move”
Victoria handed the glass bottle to Katy and said
“Take a good slug of that”
“And then what?” asked the vicar
“You’ll know what” Victoria said
Katy took a good long pull on the bottle and then licked her lips before saying
“That’s not as bad as it lo….”
She never finished the sentence as she turned a funny shade of puce and headed for the toilet.
The noises that came from behind the toilet door are best not described but left to the imagination.
When she emerged some ten minutes later she looked more like her old self.
Another twenty minutes after that she was fit to be seen in church.
When we left the vicarage we were running late and when we reached the village green the coach was already loaded and waiting for us.
Apologies’ were quickly made and the coach pulled away.

It wasn’t a bad service, a bit happy-clappy for my taste but it was ok, and on the coach back to the village it got mixed reviews although the general consensus was that it wasn’t as good as St Lucy’s.
It was 7 o’clock when the coach returned to the village green and after disembarking from the coach a small select group of pilgrims decided on pub grub at the Cross Keys, the vicar declined on religious grounds namely that she didn’t want any further communication with God on the porcelain telephone.
Most of those who stayed, left quite early, myself and one or two other decided to make an evening of it one of whom was the beautifully bald Dakota Browning, who I mistakenly believed to be American but was actually born in the village but was raised across the pond.
I decided to stay in the pub solely because I had designs upon her hairless body.
When I looked at her I was taken back to my childhood when I watched the first Star Trek movie, with my dad, he has always been a massive Star Trek fan and we watched it together many times.
In the movie there was an alien character, Lieutenant Ilia, onboard the Enterprise, played by Persis Khambatta and she was completely bald.
And in my adolescent sexual awakening I was smitten with the baldy alien.
For many years there after one of my fantasies was to look down on her bald head as she went down on me.
Since meeting Dakota at the Vicarage my youthful yearning have been rekindled especially after Judith informed me she was “completely hairless” after a childhood accident.
As the evening wore on and the crowd thinned out I got to spend some time with her one on one and we were getting on very well Come chucking out time I very much fancied my chances so I asked her back to mine but much to my disappointment she declined.
She was currently staying with her Aunt and Uncle and would be there for a few weeks and she was expected back and she really didn’t want to worry them.
So that was a no go and given the weather it was not really conducive with alfresco shagging so as she lived the other side of the village I did the gentlemanly thing and offered to walk her home anyway.
About five minutes after we set off it started to rain so we made a run for it and ducked into the bus shelter until the rain passed and the moment we were undercover she pinned me in the corner and kissed me and I think even if I wanted to escape I don’t think I could have she was so strong and muscular.
When she stopped she said
“Well that was ok” still pinning me in the corner
“Are you sure you don’t want to come back to mine?” I asked
“I can’t” she said with real disappointment “next time though for sure” and she kissed me again and when the rain eased we left the comfort of the shelter and carried on up the road.
Within about a minute there was the sound of a car horn and when we looked around it was Dakotas Uncle Will come to look for her.
Will thanked me for looking after her, Dakota thanked me for the company and as she got in the car she said
“Next time for sure”
Now considering it was only a snog in a bus shelter I had a serious swelling in my pants and if that was the effect she had on me after a kiss I couldn’t wait until the next time.
So with that in mind I headed home, and looked forward to shagging Dakota the first time the opportunity arose.
I was also looking forward to seeing Georgia again it was less than a week away before she would be back.
Her Dad Geoff was picking her up from University on Friday lunchtime.
Not that I would get to see a lot of her as there was the big children’s Halloween party at the club on Saturday and she loved working that day so I wouldn’t get to see her properly until Sunday.
As the crow fly’s I was probably no further away from home where I left Dakota than when I was at the pub and I was sufficiently familiar with the village and its varied short cuts that I was home very quickly and I was surprised to see my cousin Molly’s car parked out side the house, I put my hand on the bonnet and it was cold to the touch so I figured she must have been there a while.
To my shame my first thought was that my hard on would not go to waste and my lover’s balls would get some relief.
The house was in complete darkness so Molly had obviously turned in but I had just the thing to wake her.
On entering the house I went into the lounge and sat down on the sofa to take off my shoes and I woke up there 6 hours later.
Clearly the excessive amount of alcohol consumed, well excessive for me anyway, the late nights and other exertions had taken their toll.
When I awoke I still had the vivid images of naked hairless women performing every conceivable sexual act on me and as a result of what I had been dreaming I was sporting a spectacular early riser.
When I rose from the chair I was feeling a little stiff but I thought a hot bath would sort that, I was more concerned with easing a stiffness of a different kind first.
As I stood in the downstairs bathroom trying to piss, not easily achieved with a boner, I found adopting the ski jumper stance was the most effective but by no means foolproof.
Once I had finished I looked down at my proud member and wondered who the lucky recipient would be.
The leading contender was of course Molly who was A) a nice comfortable fuck and B) in the house at that very moment.
“She’ll do,” I said out loud
I quickly undressed, had a wash in the sink, cleaned my teeth and squirted liberally and then addressing my erection said
“Now let’s go for some borderline incest”
I crept upstairs to the spare room and slipped into bed, Molly was lying on her side with her back to me so I cuddled up and spooned her.
“Mmmm” she murmured as I nuzzled her neck and slid my hand on to her breast.
As I toyed and teased her teat I kissed her skin and breathed in her perfume which was an unfamiliar fragrance.
As I pushed my other hand between her neck and the pillow it quickly replaced the hand already fondling her tit.
The free hand then moved swiftly down her belly to seek out her pussy.
Molly instantly parted her thighs in anticipation of my digits arrival.
“Mmmmm” she acquiesced as my fingers crept closer and closer and then they were awash in her hot juice, slipping and sliding between her lips and I thought even by Molly’s standards her pussy was incredibly wet.
She had buried her face in the pillow so I couldn’t hear her animal grunts as I frigged her until she came.
Her hand reached between her legs and grabbed my cock and guided it roughly up her chuff.
Once I was well inside her cunny she buried her face in the pillow again as I banged into her over and over until she went rigid and I shot once then I gave her another and another until I was dry.
Molly relaxed and we lay still for a moment then I patted her arse, kissed her shoulder and withdrew.
“I’ll see you later babe”
“Mmmmm” she murmured
I slipped out of bed and left the room my cock still wet from her pussy and to my surprise I met Molly coming the other way, wrapped in a towel.
I did a double take, thinking how the hell did she get out here before me.
Molly didn’t speak at first she just looked at me and then my wet semi hard cock, then me again and then back to my fast shriveling dick.
“You just fucked Samantha,” she said accusingly
“While I was taking a bath you fucked Samantha” and then she laughed
“I thought it was you,” I said
“You didn’t notice anything different?” she asked
“It wasn’t you usual perfume” I replied
“You noticed my perfume was different but you didn’t notice the fact I’d grown a huge arse”
“That’s not a very nice thing to say about your friend,” I said reproachfully
“She’s not my friend she’s my girlfriend”
“Ah” I uttered “I just thought you’d filled out a bit”
“Filled out a bit, filled out a bit,” she repeated disbelievingly “how could you not tell I’d grown two dress sizes?”
She punched me on the arm and she was laughing again
“Her arse is much bigger than mine” she reiterated and punched me again then she looked at my droopy cock again.
“Isn’t it”?
I nodded
Molly disposed of her towel and displayed her wares
“Just to remind you what a tidy body looks like” and then she knelt down and licked and sucked her girlfriends’ juices off of me and when my Cousin and lover Molly had finished sucking me back to life she stood up and kissed me.
“Samantha told me I couldn’t fuck you this weekend” she said cocking a thumb in the direction of the spare room “And then she gets fucked”
“Well all bets are off” she said as she gripped my shaft and led me like a bull to slaughter to my bedroom.
“Now its time for the real Molly Curtis to get some cock”

An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 32) In The Dragons Lair

The morning after the very enjoyable horseplay in the Carrington’s stables, what will forever be remembered as the double spank and wank, I rose exceptionally early in order to make a start on the overdue chapters for gay Gordon.
It was a much colder day than the one before and I thought to my self it was probably a sign of things to come.
So I made some coffee and switched on the central heating before setting to work.
I had been hard at work in my study for about two hours and had made significant progress when there was a tapping on the window.
I got up and drew back the curtain and there beyond the glass was Maisie Stewart, hands in pockets and the collar of her jacket turned up against the cold.
I gestured towards the kitchen, she nodded her head and turned away and I exited the study.
When I reached the kitchen she was stood outside the back door I shook my head in disbelief as I opened it.
“Come in you silly girl” I said crossly
“You don’t need to wait to asked”
“Sorry” she said as she trudged in
“What are you doing up and about this early on a Saturday?” I asked her
“I’m looking after India’s horse while she’s away” she replied “I’ve just come from the stables”
“You look perished” I said
“I am” Maisie said “I don’t know how I’m going to cope with working outside in the winter”
“Do you want a drink?” I asked her as I picked up the kettle
“Well I came here to get warm” she replied “but…”
“Oh I see” I said as the penny dropped, “well take your boots off and get up stairs”

Two hours later I kissed her goodbye and she scampered up the garden towards home looking much warmer.
Maisie told me in bed between the first and second “warming” that the reason that she came to see me so brazenly, which was totally out of character for her, was jealousy.
Or I should perhaps say more accurately jealous lust.
When she arrived at the stable that morning and discovered the devastation left by India and I after our session the day before,
She got mad, not because of the mess but because she could only too vividly picture the scene in her minds eye of how it came about and she was pissed that it wasn’t her.
While she was working in the rain with Frankie, India was getting a good seeing to on the hay and remembering her own not inconsequential part in the sexual drama that preceded it she ended up making herself mad and horny in equal measure.
By the time I had finished with her she was placated and well satisfied.
And it was bloody good for me too.

After the surprise diversion with Maisie I was famished so I made myself an omelette and then put my nose back to the grindstone to see if I could placate and satisfy my publisher as easily.

About an hour into it my train of thought was broken by the telephone ringing and I cursed under my breath about the interruption before I answered it.
“Hello” I said flatly
“Hello Simon, it’s Katy” said the vicar
“Katy Oliver”
“Hello Katy, Katy Oliver” I said in a lighter frame of mind
After a brief chuckle she continued
“The reason for the call, I’m having an informal dinner party at the vicarage, Well when I say dinner party I mean a takeaway curry, I can’t cook to save my life” she paused briefly “so if you’re free tonight, its just beer, curry and Trivial Pursuits and you know most of the others”
I remembered the time not so long ago when the vicar much the worse for drink offered herself to me on a plate, so I was about to refuse until she mentioned Trivial Pursuits.
“Love to Katy” I said, “Should I bring anything?”
“Only if you can drink it,” she replied, “come about eight, bye”
Well I looked at my watch and thought another two or three hours work should get gay Gordon off my back.

Spurred on by the disturbing image of Gordon on my back I managed to complete not one but two chapters and very salacious they were too, which meant I had time for a quick snack and I would still have time to shower and shave at my leisure.

When I arrived at the Vicarage, bang on 8 o’clock I was surprised to be told that I was the last.
“Come in” the vicar said and handed me a menu “we’ve all chosen”
I felt positively tardy.
Katy Oliver had said that I knew almost everyone and she was not wrong.
Claire Andrews, Doctor and occasional lover,
Olivia Adamson her stone faced practise manager, who had never had the pleasure of me or anyone else by the look of her,
Golf buddies Victoria Braithwaite and Judith Hunt, Eric Wilson the Landlord of the Cross Keys and his wife Carol
The verger Daniel Casey, organist Will Patterson and his Niece Dakota Browning, the only one I had never met before.
It was a mixed bunch of the Godly and the heathen the old and the young the sublime and the ridiculous.
The only one of the party I didn’t know was Dakota who was the youngest, early 20’s, and was remarkable for two reasons one was that she was an American and second that she was completely bald.
She also appeared to be completely devoid of any hair at all, no eyebrows, arm hair and I presumed nothing down there as well.
I was curious as to how or why and I planned to ask her later once the wine had flowed a little, not about down there particularly but if she volunteered the information I wouldn’t mind.
We had an excellent curry and a liberal quantity of beer was consumed, apart from Claire who was on call.
I didn’t get to speak to Claire very much we had to keep up the pretence that we were mere acquaintances and not shagging on a semi permanent basis.
As the evening wore on the Trivial Pursuit appeared to universal acclaim.
Sadly after about an hour and with our team winning Claire was paged and had to leave but thankfully took with her the sour faced Olivia.
Then just after midnight the Publican’s called it a night as did the verger.
That left Victoria and Dakota on my team and we were narrowly in the lead and when both teams needed only one cheese. Will and Dakota had to go.
I looked at the clock and saw it was 2 o’clock.
“Have you seen the time Vicar?” I said “don’t you have work in the morning?”
“Ah no” she slurred “this week there is a combined service at St Bartholomew’s in Wavesdon and they don’t start until 4 pm”
She gave a huge grin and raised her glass.
“Happy days” she said and took a drink most of which went down her chin.
“Now let’s finish the game” she said wiping her mouth on her sleeve.
“Oh yes I remember now” I said “are we all going?”
“Yes there’s a coach laid on” said Judith
It was 3.15am when Judith answered the winning question to great rejoicing.
“Well done” I said “on behalf of my partner and myself”
My partner Victoria was asleep on the sofa beside me and feeling no pain.
“Home time” Judith said
So we said goodnight to the vicar and Judith and I guided Victoria homeward, we decided across the golf course was the shortest.
“Damn” I said
“What’s wrong?” Asked Judith
“I never did ask Dakota why she was bald” I replied
“She fell out of a tree when she was six” Judith answered
“Oh” I responded and was about to speak
“And she’s bald down there as well” Judith interrupted
“I wasn’t going to ask that” I protested
“But you were curious” she continued and I nodded.
As we pressed on through the darkness and I could still make out lights coming from the Golf club, which I thought a little odd, but we pressed on and when we got to Victoria’s, Maisie was standing sentry waiting for Victoria to return.
And she gave me a right ear bashing
“You should know better”, “disgraceful behaviour” “a man of your age” “you should be ashamed of yourself” a very different tone to the one she was making the previous morning.
I was flabbergasted while Judith just laughed openly.
“I’ll help Maisie, you’d better get going,” she said still laughing

My ears were still ringing with Maisie’s chastisement as I emerged through the gate and back onto the golf course and I could still see a lot of lights burning.
I decided to investigate, not perhaps the wisest course of action if indeed the place was being robbed but I was slightly merry and therefore slightly stupid.
When I got to the clubhouse I checked around the building looking through the windows but I couldn’t see anything until I reached Snipes office and I saw her sitting at her desk with her back to the window with a pile of cash on the desk
I smiled to myself as I thought she looked like Scrooge in his counting house.
I was just about to turn on my heels and head home when she did something extraordinary, Agnes Snipe, commercial manager of the golf club picked up a large wad of bank notes and stuffed them into her handbag.
Agnes Snipe “The Wicked Witch of the West” was fiddling the books.
I had long since wanted to speak to Agnes because of the unfair way she treated Georgia for what reason I don’t know just plain mean I supposed, and this seemed as good a time as any.
I was suddenly sober and decided it was time to deal with the Snipe.
I walked around to the staff entrance and punched in the 5-digit code on the keypad, I had seen Georgia do it many times and it stuck in my memory.
Once inside I crept quietly down the corridor and out through the door at the end and I was only about 30 feet from her office.
Now I almost tip toed until I could see her seated at her desk.
And from the doorway I said
“Good morning Miss Snipe and how are you”
“How did you get in here?” she said startled
“I was just passing and the door was open” I lied
“What do you want Mr. Fisher?” she snapped “I’m very busy and it’s very late”
“What I want” I said as I walked into the room “is to look in your handbag”
“What?” A shocked look came over her face
“I want to see how much money you have stashed in your handbag,” I said, now only a few feet away from her
“I don’t know what you mean” she exclaimed in a rather shrill voice and nervously her eyes darted in the direction of the bag
Then all of a sudden she rose up from the chair and made a lunge for it and got there marginally before me but I got a firm hold of the strap and used my body weight to pin her against the desk
Then with my height advantage and superior strength I wrestled it away from her small birdlike hands, which once empty she used to support her weight
“So let’s have a look in here Miss Snipe” I said
“It’s not what you think Mr. Fisher” she cried
“Really?” I said “Well what I think is that you’ve had your fingers in the till”
I opened the bag and inside was a loose fold of notes of different denominations, difficult to say how much exactly but certainly in the hundreds.
Then it suddenly dawned on me that I didn’t have a clue what to do next.
I had caught her red handed but what could I do about it, nothing.
It was while I was pondering this thorny question that “The Wicked Witch of the West” started to rub her bony arse against me.
This was not expected and not welcome, I had always found Agnes Snipe to be sexually repugnant and I’m not a fussy man by any means but with the intrigue and adventure of breaking in and catching the villain in the act, resulting in a certain amount of adrenalin being released into my system and the fact that I was just pissed enough to think “what the hell” I thought “what the hell”.
“So you want to play do you?”
She didn’t answer me but let out a long steady exhale through her nose. And she pushed again against the lump in my trousers
I threw the hand bag in the corner of the room and began hiking up her black skirt; she always wore black, like a witch.
I released the pressure against her to allow just enough clearance between us for the fabric to pass.
It was a good quality garment lined, not from a catalogue.
I had to say that of her as repugnant as she was she always dressed well, but then when you’re stealing from your employer you can afford too.
So Agnes was bent over her desk her full weight on her palms, the hem of her skirt was halfway up her back.
I ran my hands up to the waistband of her tights and yanked then smartly downwards, it was such a swift movement not unlike the magicians tablecloth trick and her knickers came down too.
So with knickers and tights safely around her knees and thus preventing her quick escape if that was ever on her mind which I somehow doubted in fact I think that the only thing on her mind was precisely what she was about to get, cock.
I undid my trousers and sat in her chair my cock stiffly on parade
I thought if she going t run this is the moment as I sat there and stared at her bony white arse and in truth I began to loose interest until as she fidgeted on the desk I could plainly see her pussy was completely hairless and my cock responded so I probed a weary digit between her lips almost like checking the oil level on your car and Agnes let out a low moan and my finger came out wet.
“Come on then Agnes if you want to play” I commanded
Miss Snipe who still had her hands on her desk shuffled backwards and lowered her hairless pussy until she was squatting on my shaft and that was when Agnes showed that she was no stranger to cock as she rose and fell on me, rising to the very tip of me on the up stroke and using every inch of my shaft on the down and the noises she made as she rode me were wonderfully dirty.
I thought I would wait until she lost the rhythm and then bend her over the desk but she was showing no signs of wavering, so with my balls fit to bust I used one hand to hold her onto me and the other to push me up from the chair and I stood up with my cock still in her and with five or six lengths I finished her over the desk.
I did think of spaffing my load all over her bony arse but she had been a surprisingly satisfying shag so I emptied my lot inside her.
I withdrew my dripping stork from her tidy pussy then I pulled her skirt down and wiped my greasy cock on it then put it back so she was left uncovered.
I redressed my self and picked up the handbag, opened it and threw the cash on the desk next to her panting face
“Some of that had better find its way into Georgia’s next pay packet” I said
“Yes Simon” she said meekly between pants “I promise”
“And you had better start being nice to her. If you ever want to do this again, do you understand?”
“Oh yes Simon”
“Good night Miss Snipe and thank you” I said insincerely
Then I left and retraced the route I took to get in and then I crept up to her window and looked in.
She was still laying bent over the desk with her bony arse and bejewelled Minge on full display.
I smiled to myself at the sight of the dragon slain in her lair by the good knight and his lance.
I continued watching for a few minutes and she stirred and got to her feet.
She pulled up her knickers and tights and let her skirt fall and it bore a large greasy smear.
And when Agnes noticed it she did what I had never seen her do before, she smiled.
With that revelation I turned and headed for home, it had been a funny old day.
And as I crossed the fairway towards home I thought it would be interesting to see if “The Wicked Witch of the West” was any kinder to Georgie after I had impaled her over her desk.

An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 31) Horseplay

On returning home to Bushy Down from my three day Parisian romp/romantic interlude with Claire, for which I was still struggling to find the appropriate pigeon hole to place the experience in, I was left with a very different feeling than after our normal outings.
So I thought, rightly or wrongly, the best course of action was to make my way to Roehampton and reacquaint myself with the youthful delights of my girlfriend Georgia in her university digs.
I had made the decision while on the train from Guildford and Almost as soon as I arrived home I was off again, I just took the time to freshen up and throw a few clothes into a bag and off I went again.
I phoned Georgie from the station to let her know I was coming down and for some reason she went straight on the defensive.
“Why? What have you done” she asked suspiciously
“Nothing, I just miss you” which was not untrue and after that her mood softened and I was welcomed with open arms and other like minded limbs.
So I spent another extended stay with two nights of copious coupling and appropriate romancing in an attempt to redress the balance.
Which I think on the whole I achieved and I was suitably reassured of my love for her and was satisfied it wasn’t just mere lust.
I would have spent longer with her but it was clear that my interfering with her was interfering with her studies so regrettably I left her on Thursday evening.
It was wonderful being with her but I did lie to her when she asked if I was behaving myself, which in plain language meant “are you keeping it in your trousers”, I said of course.
She seemed to believe me although on reflection I think she probably wanted to believe me more than she actually did.
Also while I was with Georgia I spent some of the time dodging phone calls from my publisher, gay Gordon, who was obviously wanting to know the whereabouts of the now overdue chapters.
I would just have to tell him I had been away researching, which in a way I had.
I decided I would keep him waiting until I got home which was about 10.30pm and as I sat down with a large scotch I thought it was probably too late to call him so I resolved to call him in the morning instead and then the phone rang.

I managed to appease Gordon with the promise of a chapter or two by the coming Monday and a further three/four the Monday after that, which he seemed quite happy with.
I was very pleased as I already had one chapter ready to go which meant I could take the weekend off and just relax.
After all it had been a very energetic week.

On Friday morning I was having breakfast when the phone rang. My first thought was that Gordon had reconsidered and I would have to write all weekend after all, but as luck would have it, it turned out to be the Vicar to remind me that it was parish magazine delivery day and that I could pick my quota up from the Village hall anytime after 10.00am.
Shortly before Gerald Overend died I was co-opted onto the church committee as a temporary replacement for his wife Eleanor.
She had been at her sisters since the funeral and the evening of my rather disgraceful behaviour in Gerald’s study, and would remain there for some time yet
So my services were still required in her stead.
“No I hadn’t forgotten Katy” I lied “I was just on my way out the door”
“Oh that’s great Simon” she said with real relief in her voice “we’ll see you shortly then”
I was rather hurt by her genuine lack of faith in me, I know I had actually forgotten but that’s not the point.
I would have remembered if it hadn’t been such a hectic week.
I finished my coffee and went out the back door
I had my habitual grope at Frankie in the garden as usual and she let me have a good squeeze of her huge unfettered tits before she beat me away in feigned disgust.
It’s always been a bit of a game between us every Friday I would try and grope her and she would always beat me away before I reached her treasures.
But since the day she allowed me to split her ginger whiskers she always lets me have a bit of a fondle before she pushes me off.

It wasn’t how I planned to spend my day but I didn’t mind being out the house as it was Beryl Beamish day, Mrs Beamish is my cleaner, and she’s a very good cleaner but quite terrifying at the same time.
So being out and about in the fresh air on such a lovely day was not a chore.
My “patch” was on the Tollington side of the village and consisted of about 25 residences dotted along Tollington Lane and Updown Way, it was about a two hour round trip at an average pace
But I was in no rush as it was a pleasant day the Indian summer was still in evidence so I set off with the bag slung across my shoulder.
My mind was distracted as I made my way along the Tollington
Road delivering the Parish Magazines as I was writing the synopsis in my head for the next few chapters for which I had gathered plenty of research material in the field as it were.
When I reached the furthest most house from the village and made my delivery it started to rain and having left the house that morning without a coat I made a dash for the nearest stand of trees for shelter.
I thought it was probably only a shower but if it lasted longer I could easily amuse myself by setting down my libidinous synopses down in my note book.
The shower did indeed last longer than I thought but the time was well spent.
I headed back down Tollington Road until I reached the southerly end of Updown Way which was a horseshoe shaped road that climbed quite steeply up the hill then eased down the other side rejoining Tolling Road some ¾ of a mile nearer to Bushy Down.
I trudged up the hill and my legs were feeling it by the time I reached the top, where I took a breather and a drink.
Then I made the longer and gentler descent, making my deliveries as I went.
Halfway down the rain came again and this time there were no convenient trees to shelter under but I did see some fifty yards or so ahead a stable block and thought it the most likely source of shelter so I ran in that direction.
Once I got close I noticed the door was a jar so I pushed on it softly.
“Hello” I called as the door opened.
And inside I found India Carrington in the stable grooming her horse wearing only a baggy sweater and riding boots.
“Oh” she gasped “Simon”
“And what are you up to today?” I asked as I gave her a thorough appraisal
“I’m not doing anything wrong” she said defensively “honestly Simon”
“Really?” I quizzed “You do have form though”
Then she got anxious and tried to quickly defend herself talking rapidly.
“We got caught in the rain and my shirt and jodhpurs got wet so I’m drying them on the heater and this is the only dry thing I had to wear” she was almost breathless when she finished
“Yes well I’ve seen you in wet jodhpurs before haven’t I?” I said
“That was different” she said coyly and blushed deeply “and I only did it that once honestly, I’m not a nutter”
And then almost as a after thought
“And it made my nipples sore”
She was referring to the time I had come upon the most interesting scene, where India stood beside her tethered beast, wearing her riding hat, a white shirt opened to the waist and was rubbing her naked breasts against the horse’s neck and shoulder.
She had one hand gripping the horse’s neck and the other one down the front of her open jodhpurs busy pleasuring herself.
“You were very naughty though” I said sternly
“But not now” she said childlike
“So you haven’t done anything that deserves a spanking then?” I asked
“N…”
She was about to say no but decided to leave the word unsaid perhaps she thought a spanking might be quite nice.
This might make another chapter I thought to my self.
I noticed a few hay bails stacked against the wall with horse blankets laying on them.
I sat down on the hay bail and lay my bag on the floor.
India looked coyly in my direction and putting down her curry comb walked slowly over to me with her head bowed looking at her leather booted feet.
“So you are the naughtiest girl I’d ever seen then?” I asked her
“Yes Simon” she answered quietly
I took her by the hand and bent her across my knee
I pulled the jumper up over her hips and exposed her perfect little buttocks
“I think six of the best for naughty girls” I said “you must count”
Then I gave a firm crisp slap on one cheek
“One” India said
Then on the other cheek
“Two”
Then the first again
“Three”
Then the second
“Four”
Then another crisp slap
“Five”
And a very hard one to finish
“SIX” she yelled as she squirmed on my lap and then let out a sigh.
Then I looked down at my handiwork, I looked down at her perfect little cheeks, round and white now blushed with vivid red.
Then I allowed my hand to caress the round pert buttocks, my digits stroking the red streaks left by my fingers.
From her perfect cheeks my fingers traced her shape to the top of her thigh and she squirmed again and let out another sigh
I craned my neck so I could see as my fingers explored her inner thigh and I felt her tense and she let out an involuntary murmur the moment when my finger tips touched the first coarse wispy pubes of her lush bush.
My swollen cock pressed hard into her belly as my fingers parted her labia and elicited a divine moan and when my forefinger entered her she growled and I explored the creamy wetness of her hot pussy.
I worked at her rhythmically and each stroke of slippery slit brought another exquisite moan from her, and rubbing her clit brought yet another and then I felt her body spasm as she came.
The naughty little kitten purred like a cat as she lay across my lap and I was enjoying the moment and trying to decide how I would enjoy her some more when she was startled and quickly climbed off my lap then looked intently at the door.
I turned and looked also and saw Maisie standing in the doorway looking altogether flustered.
“She’s been a naughty girl too” India said “she was watching”
“Really?” I said to Maisie and she nodded
“Well you know what that means” I said and she nodded again
Then she quickly undid her boots and kicked them off and then almost ran across the stable and as she stood before me she undid her dungarees and they fell to the ground.
I gestured to her big blue knickers with my eyes and she quickly pulled them down to her knees exposing her beautiful fluffy bush before launching herself across my knee.
“Can I count Simon” begged India who was sitting a few feet away with her back to the wall.
“Yes” I answered “six of the best again”
Then I gave a firm crisp slap on Maisie’s right cheek
“One” India said
Then on the other cheek
“Two”
Then the right again
“Three”
Then the left
“Four”
Then another crisp slap on the right
“Five” India said with glee “now do the next one hard”
So as instructed by India I gave Maisie a very hard smack to finish
“SIX” India yelled as Maisie squirmed on my lap
Then I looked down at my handiwork and held her gently bent across my knee as She squirmed and wriggled on my knee clearly anticipating what was coming next
My cock again prodded her belly as I inspected the red bloom where I had spanked her bare flesh and without pause I instantly sort out her hot little pussy.
I watched her lying across me as my fingers probed at her juicy minge and my digits rubbed and worked on her roughly and her cunny responded with liquid acquiescence.
India leant forward so she could whisper in my ear
“She’s looking at my snatch”
I looked down at Maisie and through her tousled hair I could see
She definitely had her eyes on India’s bejeweled prize.
India self-consciously pulled her sweater down to cover her self
“Don’t cover it up” I said “open your legs wider, show her a little more”
Reluctantly India obliged and Maisie murmured and sighed
“Maisie likes what she sees” I said to Indie “its making her very wet”
“Its making me wet” India said as she spread her legs wider still.
It didn’t take long after that to finish Maisie off and after I had brought her to a climax she wriggled off my lap like a fish left high and dry by the tide and headed towards India open thighs and her head worked its way up her legs like a pig snuffling for truffles until to both girls satisfaction Maisie found the prized delicacy and feasted on it.
Unfortunately Maisie’s spasmodic wriggling on my lap on top of my already heightened arousal from India’s performance had unfortunately caused me to cream my pants.
So my further participation was ruled out as I wouldn’t be able to make any meaningful contribution to the proceedings for the next 30 minutes so I left the girls playing together.
I decided to deliver the remaining half a dozen Parish mags and then return to the stable and see what further fun was to be had.
I thought as I went from house to house that it had turned out to be another excellent research trip and would certainly provide titillating reading once I had it down on paper.

It was about forty minutes later when I returned to the stable block, just in time to see a red faced Maisie bustle through the doorway and collided with me.
“Oh hello” she said somewhat flustered
And as we stood there in close proximity she reached up and kissed me long and slow, her lips tasted of pussy and so did her tongue.
“Must dash” she said abruptly with a giggle “Frankie will wonder where I am” and off she ran down the lane to the Coopers house, I presumed as I had see Frankie’s truck parked on their drive.
Then I went through the stable door and saw India lying on top of the horse blanket with her eyes closed and a very definite smile on her lips.
But as my curled beast was reawakening I was interested in lips of a different kind.
“Well this time you have defiantly been naughty” I said standing over her.
She opened her eyes and looked up at me
“Yes very naughty” she said the smile now turned into a grin
“But I don’t want another spank” she said as she rose up onto her knees in front of me, I inclined my head to kiss her and she obliged me. India’s lips did not taste of Maisie but I suspected they would some time soon.
The kiss only lasted seconds as she had eyes only for my belt as she quickly undid the buckle and then quickly moved on to my flies,
Once she had pulled the zipper down my trousers and pants quickly followed, then she grabbed hold of my cock
“It’s sticky” India said
“You girls made it sticky” I said
And then she took it in her mouth I suspected that today had been one of firsts for her in many ways and I was almost certain she’d never given head before, she was not the most proficient but it was serving its purpose.
When she disengaged her enthusiastic lips from my bell end I sat down on the blanket beside her, my cock perpendicularly proud and the filly took no persuading to climb aboard and at the second attempt her tight pussy lips encased my throbbing dick as her slippery lips slid down to the root of my shaft.
And the satisfying moan that escaped her as she mounted me was such a primevaly sensual sound it made me grow another inch inside her.
I made her remove her sweater and I saw her glorious little body naked for the first time.
She had beautiful little tits with perfect rose bud nipples.
If she was self conscious she didn’t show it as she set about riding me to the finish line.
But it was clear that she was losing control, a horse beneath her she could control but she was riding a very different beast and was not in command.
So grasping a divine little cheek in each hand I pulled her tight onto me and rolled her sideways so she was on her back and I was on my knees.
She looked small and delicate on her back, her tits all but disappeared but the soft clear skin led down unblemished to the neat triangle of blonde hair and the narrow trembling hips.
I proceeded to finish what India had started but with all the activity on a hay bail not designed for the purpose it was being employed in, it crumbled and fell to the floor and India went along with it.
But undeterred she scrambled to her feet and climbed onto a less used bail and as her pert buttocks waivered before me I plugged into her in an instant.
I’m not sure that that was what she had in mind but she didn’t complain; in fact the only utterances from her were of the animal kind.
I toyed with her soft little tits and teased her rosebud nipples and stared at her delightful quivering buttocks as I performed repeated penetrations of her tight cunny until with a girlish scream and a satisfying shudder she came, I gave her two more extremely short strokes and I followed her.
Reluctantly, as the rain pounded on the roof again, I withdrew from the comfortable heat of her and she immediately turned around and hugged me.
“Wow” she said panting hard “this is the best birthday ever”
“Happy birthday” I said hugging her back

I had redressed and was sitting on the remaining hay bails watching India wrapped in a horse blanket and still wearing her riding boots moving around the stable gathering her clothes together
“So what are you doing for your birthday?” I asked “another treat”
“Yes” she replied “but not that kind of treat”
“Mummy and Daddy are taking me to New York” she said
“Mummy’s picking me up at four”
I glanced at my watch and then at India with a little bit of fluff showing below her blanket.
“In two minutes you mean” I pointed out.
“What?” she screamed “what am I going to do”
“Don’t panic” I said and kissed her forehead “you get dressed and I’ll keep look out”
“Ok” she said not quite convinced
I opened the door slightly looking out for “mummy’s” arrival though I would have preferred to have been outside spying on India.
I glanced over my shoulder and I could see Indie was completely naked with her back to me and I continued to watch as she wriggled her skinny arse into her jodhpurs.
Then she bent over and her breast hung seductively as one at a time she pulled on her boots.
My attention was then drawn to the sound of a car splashing through rain puddles.
When I looked closer I could see it was Clemence Carrington
“Your mums here” I called
“Oh God” she replied “I’m not ready”
“Don’t worry I’ll keep her talking” I said and headed out the door just in time to intercept Mrs Carrington.
“Clemence” I called “it’s nice to see you again”
“Hello Simon” she said with surprise “what are you doing here?”
“I was delivering the Parish Magazine” I said lifting up my bag as if offering it as evidence “and when I was caught in the rain India kindly let me take shelter in the stable”
“What a good girl” Clemence said proudly “where is she?”
Just at that moment the door opened and India emerged
“Hi mummy” she said
“Hello darling, are you ready?”
India nodded
“Can we offer you a lift Simon?” Clemence asked “we are going back through the village”
“If that’s ok” I replied
“Of course it is, we don’t mind giving him a ride do we India”.
“No mum” India answered “he can have a ride anytime”