I WANT TO RIP THE HEART FROM MY CHEST

I want to rip the heart from my chest
So I won’t have to feel the pain
Of heart break ever again

I want to rip the heart from my chest
So I don’t have to feel it break
Then I can sit and watch it ache

I want to rip the heart from my chest
So love can no longer hurt me
And with no heart I will finally be free

LITERARY DOCTORATE

“Oh doctor, doctor
You must help me
I have been afflicted
Most horribly
I keep quoting
William Topaz McGonagall”
The doc replied
“We can’t help you at all”
“Oh doctor why
Cant you treat me for it”?
He replied
“Because this is the Burns unit”

QUEEN OF HER DOMAIN

There she perches
Queen of her domain
Keen Eagle eyes scanning the scene
Head never still
Then in the water
A silvery glint
And she’s airborne
Gliding with silent grace
Almost aimlessly
Then with perfect timing
She strikes to take the rising fish
And with it safe in her talons
She sets off to deliver
The silver prize to her young

LOVE IS A ROLLER COASTER

Being in love with you
Was like a roller coaster ride
Exhilarating and stomach churning
But not in a good way
Not in that happy waving your arms in the air
Screaming with delight kind of way

No not your roller coaster
Oh there was exhilaration
You took me to dizzy heights
When you really took my breath away
When I thought life didn’t get any better than that
Like walking through fields of flowers in the sunshine
Or hand in hand along an empty beach
Declarations of love and promises for the future
Making me feel I was the most special person in the world

Then without warning came the stomach churning
That headlong rush into darkness
Cast down into a trough of despair and bitterness
Jealousy and accusations
Venomous verbal tirades and volleys of flying fists
Churning my stomach and breaking my bones

Being in love with you
Was like the roller coaster ride from hell
So I got off and walked away
And I will never ride with you again
Your declarations of love and promises for the future
Are just empty words
Drowned out by your venomous tirades
Thinking of you may still churn my stomach
But you will break my bones no more
I got off your roller coaster broken and battered
But with my spirit in tact

JOY BRINGER

Seductively on your knees
As you tantalise and tease
Playing rough then tender
As you expertly render
On me your divine Fellatio
Such ecstasy you can bestow
How expertly you perform
Bringing me towards the storm
On the brink you bring me back
Restoring the control I lack
Oh how I thought you demure
Erotic bringer of pleasure
How many times will it be?
How many points of ecstasy
How many times until
You choose to drink your fill

MISMATCH

I do love you
You must accept that as a given
There was never any question
Of my not loving you
But there was always something missing
You must have felt it too
A “close but no cigar” kind of feeling
So I do love you
But no matter how great the love
The uncomfortable truth is
You’re not the one
You’re not my soul mate
I wish you were
Because I do love you
But we are not a matched pair
Almost but not quite
But she’s out there
Somewhere, waiting, wondering
Maybe having this same conversation
With her mismatch
She’s out there
The perfect one
The one made for me
The one I was made for
We only get one chance
To get it right
And we have got it wrong
He is out there somewhere
Your perfect half
Who will make you whole
And make you happy
You must seek yours out
And I must search for mine

WHAT BECOMES OF THE BROKEN HEARTED?

This tale is of once upon a time
That happened not so long ago
When a man proposed to a lady
And the lady in question said no

Now you might have expected
The man to be broken hearted
But he lived happily ever after
From the moment that they parted

He slept as long as he wanted
Watched sport on TV all day
Drank from dawn till dusk
And ate every kind of takeaway

He wore comfortable clothes
And socks with his sandles
And broke wind when he wanted
Sometimes over lighted candles

But this story did not end well
For his lifestyle affected his heart
He died of a heart attack at thirty nine
After a particularly violent fart