Monday, 24 November 2008

WHAT DO YOU WANT BUD?

I saw a Buddhist monk today
At a hot dog stand
The cook stood at the griddle
Doing his thing
“What can I make you” was his
Gruff demand
The monk replied, “ Make me one
With everything”

YOU MUFFIN

When young women
Dress with midriff exposed
It can look attractive
To the suitably disposed
But for those more ampler
Flesh spills over the top
Of tight waist bands
To look like muffin tops

PUT DOWN'S

PUT DOWN # 1

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
Just gaze into their eyes
And say to your pursuer
“Why don’t you slip into something
More comfortable… like a coma”

PUT DOWN # 2

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
Just say to him seductively
With your hand upon your hip
“Wipe your mouth honey,
You have bullshit around your lips

GOD IS

God is goodness
God is love
God and love
Go hand in glove

God is blessed
God is hope
God and hope
Will help us cope

God is loving
God is peace
God and peace
Will never cease

God is patient
God is grace
God and grace
Hold us in embrace

God is goodness
God is love
God and loveGo hand in glove

SEX TOY UPGRADE

In this modern age
It is certainly possible
For you to increase
Sexual arousal
With the use of mechanical devices
In particular
They work on women
One of these is a sports car
However these devices
Don’t always work on a man
If he is inclined
To spend all the time he can
Tinkering with the cars parts
Rather than the woman

I DON’T WANT

I don’t want silk lingerie
Or delicate hand made lace
I don’t want designer frocks
Or makeup for my face
I don’t want French perfume
Or expensive jewelry
I don’t want a penthouse flat
With luxurious foolery
I don’t want foreign holidays
Or bouquets of every hue
I don’t even want a sports car
I just want a man that’s true

YOU ARE

You are the oasis in my desert
You are the sun in my sky
You are the cherry on my cake
You are the cream on my pie
You make us into we
Instead of you and I