SAD CHRISTMAS

 

There is a pain in my chest

Where my heart used to be

There are tears in my eyes

That are blinding me

Let the season pass

Without my participation

Christmas won't be merry

Is my sad anticipation

DYING OF THE LIGHT

On the table
The candle sputters
Flame flickers
Almost guttering
But does not die

At the table
A heart yearns
Tears form
As hope fades
She cries inside
At the table
A rhetorically thought
He’s not coming
How cruel
She dies inside

At home
Her heart aches
Her spirit breaks
She drains the glass
And she dies

CHRISTMAS WITHOUT HARRY

It was early when the children woke up
With their squeals of joy and delight
They hadn’t woken me though
I’d been awake half the night

Christmas held no joy for me this year
I was not looking forward to the day
And I always loved Christmas
This year I didn’t want to play

It was the first Christmas since I lost Harry
And each moment was a fresh agony
Everything we used to do together
Now had to be done by me

When you are the perfect partnership
It’s so hard when you lose one of the team
He was the cream cheese on my bagel,
I was the coffee to his cream

Its six months since he was taken from me
But the wound has barely healed
It takes just the slightest remembrance
And a fresh scar is then revealed

The children have all adjusted well
I’m so proud of the way they’ve coped
They’ve gotten on with their lives
And not sat around and moped

I’ve lain awake most of the night
Reliving Christmases gone by
I laughed at all the happy memories
And then the laughter turned to cries

It was going to be a difficult day to bear
And I would be glad when it was done
But I didn’t want to be a Grinch
And pour water on the children’s fun

Having Christmas without Harry
Was like having an undecorated tree
He was my best friend and soul mate
He was just everything to me

So for the kid’s sake I had to grin and bear it
Put on a brave face, smiled through the pain
I thought it would never end but end it did
And it won’t be that hard again

IN SEARCH OF LARA

From my familiar seat
On the crowded bus,
I thought I saw you today
In the passing throng,

My spirits lifted
My heart beat quickened.
And like Dr Zhivago
In search of Lara
I beat against the cold glass.
To attract attention

You turned toward me,
And it wasn’t you.
I was mistaken.
Through vision clouded by tears
I had not seen you,
How could it be you?
For you are gone

I WILL BE THERE

Do not grieve for me
Do not mourn my passing
Remember me with a smile
Don’t think of me as gone
Remember what we had
Think of our life like a favourite book
Do not close it and put it on the shelf
Never to be read again
Just because you hate the ending
Start to write the next chapter
Enjoy it like all the others
And don’t be sad
I will be there with you always

I will be there when the wild flowers
Dance in the spring meadow
When the summer breeze moves through
A field of ripening wheat
When the morning mist of autumn
Softens the landscape
And when the winter sun
Sparkles and glints on the snow
And I will be by your side
Through your loneliest hours

I will be there in the dawn
Rising with the sun
You will see me again
When the sun sets at the days end
And in the twilight hours
I will be that gentle breeze
That caress’s your cheek
On a warm summer evening
And I will be that tingle on your skin
As you lie in the quiet hours

I will be there when you retrace our steps
And when you stand on the lake shore
My reflection will not be on the water
By I am still with you
When you walk in the autumn
Through the golden carpet
I will be in the dancing leaves
And when the snow lays
Though I will leave no foot prints
I am there for these moments our ours

I will be there in the quietness of winter
Among the falling snowflakes
I will be in the dew drops
On the grassy meadow
I will be there in the warm sunlight
Of a summer’s day
I will be with you when the storm
Quickens your heartbeat
And you will feel me on your skin
And in the April showers

I’M SORRY

I’m sorry
But I’m leaving you
Its not you
Oh how trite is that
And I do love you
It’s just that you’re not the one
There’s something missing
There’s no electricity
I do love you
But you’re not the one

I’m sorry
But I’m leaving you
It really is me
And other assorted clichés
I wish you were the one
I hope you can forgive me
For the years you’ve wasted
For the love you invested in me
I wish you were the one
Thank you for loving me

I’m sorry
But I’m leaving you
I'll miss you and I do mean that
But I’m looking for my soul mate
And I have to look
I wish you were my great love
But we are just comfortable
Like a favorite pair of shoes
I have to look
Though I may never find her

I’m sorry
But I’m leaving you
I must be cruel to be kind
And other empty Platitudes
You deserve better than me
Your perfect one is out there
We all have a soul mate
I’m sorry it’s not me
You deserve better than me
That’s why I’m leaving

I’m sorry
But I’m leaving you
Please don’t cry
Just wish me luck
Because she’s out there
There should be great love
There should be sparks
Tingling and breathlessness
She is out thereI will find the other half of me