It’s that time of the year once more
When the motion
picture industry
Pat them selves on
their collective backs
And mark another year
in their history
But when the time
comes
How do we choose what
to see?
Film reviews are
little help
And critics add no
clarity
Industry spokesmen and
women
Film critics and film
reviewers
Those who form the Oscar
collective
Are of little use to
film viewers
“Best picture Oscar”
must be good
Well I fell in that
trap
I watched “Gangs of
New York”
And it turned out to
be crap
Also I have found I am
out of step
With the film critics
view
So you have to
decipher the code
That’s all you have to
do
Just follow this
simple guide
“Critically Acclaimed”
= Crap
“Stunning
cinematography” = No story
“Award winning
soundtrack” = Artie crap
“Thought provoking” =
No car chases
“Dark” = Badly lit
“Moving” = Alright for
girls
“Moody” = Poor dialog
and badly lit
“Oscar nominated” =
Wasn’t good enough
“Poignant = Has no
plot
“Oscar winning” = Over
hyped
“Gritty” = They say
fuck a lot
These simple tips may
help
Save you wasting
precious time
Watching an ill
described film
Best designated as a
crime
