ARE YOU WEARING ODD SOCKS? # 2

 

Are you wearing odd socks?

I suppose the look is a bit hipster

But honestly at your age, you are

Meat and drink for a quipster

ARE YOU WEARING ODD SOCKS? # 1

 

Are you wearing odd socks?

Well, that’s quirky in the youth

And it’s quite nice to see, but

On you they look stupid in truth

ARE YOU WEARING SEVEN INCH HEELS?

 

Are you wearing seven-inch heels?

As you’re tottering down the street

But don’t you feel silly standing

Six foot two in your stocking feet

ARE YOU WEARING A CHAPEAU?

 

Are you wearing a chapeau?

That’s the French for hat you know?

Well, you look quite sweet I must say

Though I’m not a huge fan of the beret

And the rather limp looking overcoat

It isn’t really what you’d call haute

But I need to find a condom dispenser

Because I have a thing for Frank Spencer

ARE YOU WEARING WINKLE PICKERS?

 

Are you wearing winkle pickers?

And you don’t mind the snickers?

And when they ask it doesn’t offend?

“Do your toes go right to the end?”

ARE YOU WEARING A RED CHAPEAU?

 

Are you wearing a red chapeau?

It’s a very daring choice of yours

Because wearing a red chapeau

They’ll say red hat and no drawers

ARE YOU WEARING LEGGINGS?

 

Are you wearing leggings?

That are baggy ‘round the knees’

As I can’t see them for myself

Can I have more details please?

ARE YOU WEARING A FASCINATOR?

 

Are you wearing a fascinator?

Well tell be more about that

Oh, my imagination was all agog

But now you tell me it’s just a silly hat

ARE YOU WEARING A SPORRAN AGAIN?

 

Are you wearing a sporran again?

Wow that really is a beut

It’s an unusual choice though

A sporran with a safari suit

ARE YOU WEARING A PUSH UP BRA?

 

Are you wearing a push up bra?

Well, I think you’ve pushed them up too far

I’m not sure where they should begin

But they shouldn’t be under your chin

ARE YOU WEARING A PURPLE BONNET?

 

Are you wearing a purple bonnet?

And a pink scarf about your neck

Well, I don’t know how to tell you

But you really look like a prick

I DON’T LIKE LACE-UP SHOES

 

I don’t like lace-up shoes

And slip-ons aren’t so hot

That just leaves Velcro

So, I figured why knot?

ARE YOU WEARING LEG WARMERS? # 2

Are you wearing leg warmers?

It’s a fashion statement well made

But if memory serves me well

Not for this particular decade

ARE YOU WEARING LEG WARMERS? # 1

 

Are you wearing leg warmers?

It should be one of those nostalgic sights

But if memory serves and I’m not mistaken

They’re not supposed to go under your tights

YOU HAVE THIRTY PAIRS

 

You have thirty pairs

Of shoes, more or less

And standing in the room

In obvious distress

Won’t make me choose

No matter how much you press

The appropriate pair

To go with that dress

ARE YOU WEARING THIS OR THAT?

 

Are you wearing this or that?

They both look really very nice

And you’ve tried on everything

In your wardrobes, twice

What’s wrong with looking nice?

I think they both look alright

I know you would prefer stunning

I would prefer to get there tonight

ARE YOU WEARING THIS AND THAT?

 

Are you wearing this and that?

A Purple and Chartreuse fleece

With sky blue corduroy flares

Watch out for the fashion police

TELL ME PLEASE I WANT TO KNOW

Tell me please I want to know

Remember I asked you once before

Tell me what did Tennessee?

Was it the same thing Arkansas?

IN WHAT STATE OF DRESS

 

In what State of dress

Was she? please tell me

What did Delaware?

Was it her New Jersey?

ARE YOU WEARING SUNNIES?

 

Are you wearing sunnie’s?

Oh, dear you do look funny

I almost didn’t recognize you honey

 

You’re spending the week incognito?

Oh, how lovely I’ve always wanted to go

But no one recognizes you though