A Little Bit Of Humour # 162

A VOYAGE ROUND MY FATHER (8)

Dad said “I’m going to Thailand"
I replied to him "To Bangkok?"
He thought for a moment, then said
"Oh no I certainly hope not”

THE HUNDRED YEARS WAR

Called the Hundred Years War
I was understandably misled
Because the war really lasted
A hundred and sixteen instead

BE MY VALENTINE # 1

On Valentine’s Day
The valentine card said to the stamp
Stick with me and we'll go places!
While the farmer gave his wife
Hogs and kisses!
And the caveman gave his wife
Ughs and kisses!

PROVERBIAL PROVERBS # 1

The old saying goes that “A volunteer
Is worth Ten pressed men”
Well volunteers are all well and good
But a pressed man looks really sharp

MY BROTHER IS A PESSIMIST # 2

My brother is a pessimist
With all his nay-saying
And a glass half full guy
With his catastrophising

I’M A VERY COURAGEOUS GOLFER

I’m a very courageous Golfer,
At least in my view
Because it takes a lot of balls
To Golf the way, I do

COULD JESUS HAVE BEEN BLACK?

Could Jesus have been Black?
Maybe, its true he liked Gospel
He called everyone brother
And He didn't get a fair trial

MARITAL RELATIONS

A post argument couple
Drove down a country lane
For quite a few miles,
Choosing not to speak again
Until they drove past a farm
When he said, “Relatives of yours?”
Referring to the pigs in a field
“Oh yes,” she replied, “in-laws”

MY GREAT UNCLE IS A SCIENTIST

My Great Uncle is a scientist
As well as a keen horticulturist
Which is quite evident to see
As he’s growing a chemistree

CWTCH

There is a general misunderstanding
That a cuddle is the same everywhere
Well allow me to clear up the muddle
Anyone can indeed hug, that’s true
But only the Welsh can cwtch, and
They’re so much better than a cuddle

IS IT PANCAKE DAY ALREADY?

Is it Pancake Day
Already? Oh dear
It’s really crêped up
On me this year

THEY HAD A ROCK AND ROLL NIGHT

They had a rock and roll night
At the care home, all very droll
It was a quite sedentary evening
And was more like Crock and Roll