TODAY’S PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALLERS
I think today’s professional footballers
Worry far too much about their hairstyle
And should pay as much attention to detail
On the training ground once in a while
ENGLAND IN BRAZIL 2014
You should always have a plan B
In Completive football I’d say
Unfortunately for England though
They neglected to have a plan A
BEER AND FOOTBALL
Beer and football are
As exciting for me
As handbags and shoes
Are for you, really
ENGLAND INEPT IN BRAZIL 2014
There has only been one thing
More inept than England and it
Is Alan Shearer’s pompously
Hapless performance as a pundit
YOU HAVE TO FEEL SORRY FOR PHIL NEVILLE
You have to feel sorry for Phil Neville
Compared to Gary, he was a lesser player
Now he would also appear to be
Second best as a football commentator
If he entered a Phil Neville lookalike contest
He would finish second to his brother
BEND IT LIKE URI –BRAZIL 2014
The reason England failed
So says a guy in a Favela
“It’s all the fault of that
Spoon bending fella”
“We’d have won if we hadn’t
Snubbed Uri Gellar”
IF FOOTBALLERS SPENT MORE TIME
If footballers spent more time
Training and practising their skills
Instead of feeling the sting
Of the tattoo artists drills
They would gain the fans respect
Instead of looking like utter pills
AN ITALIAN NIBBLE – BRAZIL 2014
Suarez should be hungry
Like all strikers
But for goals
And not other players
HEROES RETURN – BRAZIL 2014
England will fly home
Into Glasgow Airport
Thus ensuring, a heroes
Welcome of a sort
A QUICK BITE – BRAZIL 2014
Luis Suarez thought the response
To his biting Chiellini quite amazing
He couldn’t understand the outcry
As for a cannibal he was only grazing
THE CANNIBAL OF AJAX – BRAZIL 2014
Whether you call him Lucho
Or El Pistolero
Or the cannibal of Ajax
Or even El Conejo
Suarez needs to understand
Biting people is a no no
A SPANISH GOLFER WAS STABBED
A Spanish golfer was stabbed
Not multiple wounds, just the one
But nobody knew just exactly
Who it was made a hole in Juan
SUAREZ IS TOTALLY SCREWED – BRAZIL 2014
Now the evidence is viewed
And the enquiry will conclude
That Suarez is totally screwed
But what I think is rude
Is that he plays with his food
