FEMININE CONUNDRUM # 1
I will never understand women
How is it they can pour wax, molten
Onto their naked flesh and then to boot
Rip it off pulling out the hair by the root
And yet can by completely terrified by
A spider that’s even smaller than a fly
I REALLY NEED TO MODERATE # 3
I really need to moderate
The way I live my life
Last night I drank so much
I turned into my wife
I failed to grasp simple logic
And became overly emotional
Then I talked incessantly
And made no sense at all
DO AS I SAY
My wife said, “Take off all my clothes
And throw them on the floor”
I was taken aback to be honest
Then she said “and don’t wear them anymore”
BLONDICIDE
Bimbette was found in her cell
Hanging by the ankles from a beam
She claims it was a suicide attempt
This is normal for her it would seem
When she was told that to kill herself
The rope would need to be around her throat
She said that she had tried that first
But she stopped when she started to choke
TOOTING
Come and hear grandpa play
His tuneful little flageolet
Come hear the Zufolo toot
And listen to his fipple flute
BLONDE SHOWER
Bimbette was in the shower
And spent all day in the en suite
Because it said on the shampoo bottle
“Lather, Rinse, Repeat”
FAST CARS
Cars keep getting faster and faster
Hurtling from disaster to disaster
We should slow them down again
To the speed of the drivers brain
BUFF
You’re really buff
You’re a bit of fluff
You’re a bit of stuff
Are you buff in the buff?
WENDY FOY
Sweet Wendy Foy
Fancied trendy Roy
Roy was a friendly boy
Who used Wendy Foy
Like a bendy toy
She enjoyed un-bendy Roy
And his trendy toy
That gave Wendy Joy
No comments:
Post a Comment